The Sweet Satisfaction of an Empty Inbox

It’s funny how much we resist the very things we want. We want to get up early and be more productive, but hit snooze every time. We want peace and happiness but over complicate our lives and over commit ourselves to things we don’t enjoy. We want to meet new, interesting people but hesitate having conversations with those who aren’t like us.

I’ve been wanting a clean email box since the beginning of the new year. That’s right, 2017 Melissa wanted to be on top of her email once and for all.  That meant folders for each category, an empty inbox, and responding to messages within a respectable 24 hour time frame. It sounds small but it was a real challenge for me.

See, I have four different emails and my oldest one was giving me the headache, while the other three sat looking pretty. Maintaining my email wasn’t difficult. Working through the overwhelm from letting it get out of hand was the actual challenge. I had fallen too far off the cliff. I was over 2000 emails in and there was no way I was going to get it under control without wasting 10 hours of my life. Honestly, spending that much time cleaning email was not something I was willing to commit to.

I had two choices.

1.       Get comfortable having thousands of emails in my inbox

 Or

2.        Sit my butt down and get to work.

Neither decision was better than the other, but either way, I had to be comfortable with my choice instead of carrying it with me daily.

A lot of us try to fool ourselves into saying we’re okay with how things are in our lives. Being overwhelmed has become a new normal. Being too busy to care for your home is just another Saturday. Who are you if you’re not rushing somewhere trying to do something, remember something and say something. On the outside we’re keeping it all together but knowing deep down that if the ball drops, that’s it! It’s a rap. There’s no making it to the other side. So instead we tread lightly, desperately shushing the voice that knows what’s best for us as we try to carry on.

As a cry for help, I ask advice on how to get my email under control from an email genie I know. I admire his ability to simplify such a redundant task. No matter how many emails come in, he's always at zero. I needed to know the secrets, the tips, the tricks, the shortcuts to EMAIL HEAVEN!

We’re always looking for these hacks to get what we want when the answer is always just do the damn work. That’s basically what he told me, and that’s exactly what I did. With Sade playing to keep my mind at ease, a sleeping baby, and pure will, I began to delete and delete some more.  

As I write this I’m happy to say my inbox is at zero. You read right, zero baby. It didn’t take me 10 hours, more like 2 (Don't we love to over-exaggerate when we don't want to do something?). It wasn’t as painful as I thought, but I did get sleepy. I actually got a rush once I saw the numbers drop. Texting my friend each time I reached a milestone. 700 left…531…227…22..done. 1 pee break and 2 "Mommy put me back to sleep" calls later, and there I was: sweet satisfaction.

It’s true we need motivation to get started on something that’s overwhelming, and it’s true it will take some effort and time. But that’s it. No blood. No tears. No near-death experiences. The only thing waiting for you is self-satisfaction, and I can’t think of anything sweeter than that.

Feel Free,

Mel

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Minimalism: A Rich Life Without Having to be Rich

It’s the day after Christmas, and I’m running to the mall. Not to buy anything, God no. I’m not a fan of nationwide sales. Especially the kind that tricks you into believing you’re saving so much money it’s necessary to abandon quality time with friends, family or even yourself, to buy more stuff you won’t use or wear. I was returning some gifts that were well-intended but not quite right for me. I was confident hardly anyone would be at the mall. It was raining, gloomy,  and it was the day after Christmas after all. Hadn't everyone spent all their savings the days prior? I was terribly wrong. It was packed. Packed to the max. Excuse the simple, predictability of my words, but that’s how it looked. Everyone standing in line with their Macy’s 25% off coupons confused by why they didn’t apply to the items they were purchasing.

“Because, this was the only way to get you into the store to spend more money than you actually intended, knowing you were never saving anything in the first place.” The clerk gently explained with a smile on her face.

People's Need for More

It amazes me that year after year, holiday after holiday, sale after sale, people have yet to catch onto the games that are being played by retail companies. It doesn’t matter how much stuff people have, for some reason they still believe they NEED, not want, but absolutely need more. “Oh I need a new coat. This room needs a bigger TV.  It's half-off!”

If you stopped to take a sneak peak in the households of each of these individuals ready to buy more, you will find someone irritated by how much stuff is everywhere and can never kind what they need. A mother who can’t get a moment to herself because every single weekend she’s doing loads of laundry and never-ending tidying up. A beautiful woman with enough clothes to open not one, but two boutiques tomorrow, yet she still can’t find anything worth wearing to dinner. You’ll find someone so overwhelmed with their disorganization but instead of doing anything about it, continue to live scattered day in and day out—going from one stressful peak to the next.

(Sigh...)

None of these people are lazy or refuse to change, they’re simply unaware of what to change or how to change. A lot of what we are all seeking from life is translated to the things we invest our money in. Whether it’s love, acceptance, notoriety, purpose, self- worth, it is seen in how we spend our income. As each generation emerges, it is clear money is being spent on the more shallow areas of life- appearance, trends, beauty, cars, clothes, and not on the deeper, more lasting areas- experiences, knowledge, relationships, the environment, world epidemics, personal and professional growth.

Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with spending money on how you appear to those around you. It’s important to feel confident and proud of the image portrayed  to the outside world. But the scale has tipped in that direction as if it is more important or solely important above all else. Above how we actually feel about ourselves and our lives, above the state of our relationships with those we love, above our actual reality.

And the reality is this:

People feel over-worked, under appreciated, unfulfilled, living for the weekends, and simply not at peace because there’s ALWAYS something that we should be doing in order to keep up in this race called life.

I felt nothing but pure joy to be around those I loved this Christmas. The ability to be present and embrace careless spontaneity. The simplicity in sharing a story or laughing endlessly at my niece being all or 6 but acting all of 16. The feeling of not needing to be anywhere else but here and now. The holidays are special that way. For a moment, they remind us to be satisfied with the simple things. But what if you didn’t need a holiday to feel like this. What if, enjoying the moment was possible on a daily basis. I’m not talking about living in a state of oblivion- walking around with rose colored glasses without a care in the world, but living in a state of reality, being surrounded by these moments instead of all these things.

Mutha..

Mutha Lover..

Winnie schooling IV on the art of teeth brushing.

How to Live More

How do you achieve that? How do you surround yourself with pure satisfaction instead of always seeking it in things, notifications, acknowledgements, achievements and THINGS? It's simple really, in theory. It's a little more difficult in practice-- for our time at least. 

Sometimes we have to let go of what's killing us, even if it's killing us to let go.

In order to make room for something new, we must remove what's getting in the way. I see a lot of people, myself included, seeking for a life less busy, less strenuous, less difficult to maintain. A life where we thrive instead of survive. A life that is rich, even without being rich.

After spending a year in and out of homes of people from all backgrounds and all income brackets, it is clear, without a doubt, that having more does not mean a happier life. Just maybe, we have it backwards. Maybe, having less means living more.

I decided it was time to get off this train  and walk a path that feels more natural to who we are as humans, before we were told what we are, how we should be, and what we should buy to feel more complete. Minimalism may not be for everyone, nothing ever is, but if the route you’re currently traveling doesn’t feel quite right, what’s the harm in going the other way? Join me on the path of discovering more life with less.

Feel free,

Mel

20 Reasons to be an Entrpreneur

Why live a life full of mediocrity, frustration, and boredom when you can have the complete opposite?
I've had numerous conversations with friends and coworkers about the scariness of building your own business and reasons someone would shy away from it.
There's uncertainty, risks, and challenges and most people hate those things. I get it. Something so "scary" looks unappealing. I get that too. But have you ever taken a step back to look at all the scary things involved in maintaining a job you hate only for security? Have you taken the time to think about all the things that are not an option when you choose the safe, expected route?

In case you haven't,

Here are the many reasons BIG and SMALL (but even the small things are big) to be an entrepreneur:

1. To not have to clock in and clock out
2. To know that the effort you put in will produce what you will get back in return
3. To not have another adult tell youto put away your phone as if you're twelve
4. To not have to do something and not understand why you're doing it
5. To never have to hear about people complaining about their jobs everyday
6. To do something you enjoy
7. To be great at what youdo
8. To never have to decide if you should take off Christmas or Thanksgiving ever again
9. To be proud of what you do
10. To inspire others to go after what they love to do
11. To live a fulfillinglife
12. To have financial freedom
13. To use your creative abilities to make money (because we are all creative beings)
14. Never have to eat lunch with people you don't like but tolerate
15. To decide where you make money and when you make it
16. To have a job filled with adventure and novelty
17. To never have to dread Mondays ever again
18. To determine what success means for you
19.The freedom of not having someone determine what you'll be doing for 10 hours of your day for the next 30 years of your life
20. To mean it when you respond "You can be anything you want to be" when your child talks about their hopes and dreams

These are a few of the many reasons to be in entrepreneur in my book. I understand everyone isn't meant to be an entrepreneur, but neither is living a life of suffering. No one is built for that. I see so much dissatisfaction in the eyes of people young and old all because they've simply given up hope. Given up hope that their job will get better, that the possibility of something greater is too far to reach. It's frightening how a job can suck the life and optimism out of you. It's crazy how a job can make you feel like this is the best you can do without even realizing you feel that way until it's 5 years later, and you don't know why you've stayed so long.

There's no reason not to pursue what brings you joy. Take whatever you're passion about and profit from it. There's no reason you can't do what you love. There's no reason other than if you believe you can't.  

Feel Free,

Mel

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