The Power, Pain, and Process of Letting Go

Letting go is not about throwing everything away, cutting off toxic relationships, and chopping off all your hair.  Granted, each of these things may happen as you shed the old you and welcome in a new phase. But there’s more going on underneath the surface. I was highly ambitious a few weeks ago when I decided to spend the next 19 days letting go of everything unnecessary in my life. Just in time for a fresh start on my 28th birthday. The first couple of days were a breeze. I was tossing like a mother. Plus I had great motivation to donate for Hurricane Harvey relief in Houston. It wasn’t until I reached the non-physical things that brought up tons of hesitation. Sometimes we’re ready for great change in life on birthdays, New Years, in new seasons, but even positive change can feel awful adjusting to, especially when doing it alone.

Expect the Great, Gross, and Transforming

Letting go of things should feel freeing and revitalizing, right? There should be a total shift in your heart, body and spirit that makes you feel like a new person. Let me assure you, these feelings do come, but not during the process. When you’re clearing out your closet, deleting thousands of emails, tossing memorabilia of horrible exes, you’re also reflecting on the choices you’ve made. And these choices don’t go down easy. You struggle with the shame and disappoint. All of sudden, your and past and present are looking you in the face begging for answers. That’s where most of us get angry, sad or both then bail. We’d rather not deal with it, not today, not ever. But that’s the thing, it never leaves us. The energy of our things and choices is always there and it rears its ugly head the next time change comes into our lives (a new relationship, birth, death, a new job opportunity).  

The Power in Letting Go

We are the sum of our experiences. Each one preparing us for the next. We often ask to be blessed with greatness beyond measure, yet don't understand what it will take to hold onto the things we desire. Letting go is about taking the time to learn from our past. Reflect on it, grow from it, and be thankful for getting past it. Most of all, it’s embracing who and where we are now. None of us are who we were two years ago, one relationship ago, or even a day ago. Today we are filled with new hopes and aspirations that can only materialize if we make room for it. That’s why there’s power in learning to let go.  

Learn to Let Go

A few weeks ago I was stopped dead in my tracks as I let go of everything from papers and emails to negative thoughts. Letting go of things that don’t provide value to our lives, produce benefits of many kind: clarity, focus, less stress, increased content, peace, joy and the list goes on. Getting stuck in the process can be discouraging but the positive effects are also motivation enough to learn how to overcome them. I realized just like my clients, I needed support, and knew I wasn’t the only one. As Fall sheds the dead to hibernate for the Winter in preparation to blossom in the Spring, the symbolism of it felt like the perfect time to learn the art of letting go. For the month of October I’ll be practicing the art of letting go and having candid conversations about the process.  If you’re ready for a new season in your life, join in, let go and start anew.

Feel free,

Mel

Join the Facebook group for inspiration and support as together we learn to let go and feel free.

Interested in letting go of things in your home? As a Professional Organizer that’s what I do. Don’t be shy, contact me for your free consult.

The Decision for a Blank Slate

Every day I encourage people to feel free. Donate this, toss that. The look reflected back at me is always the same, as if I’m speaking a different language. I then go into the many reasons why they don’t need all this stuff. Sometimes I’m successful, sometimes I might as well be talking to a wall. Either way, when I leave they feel better, less stressed, less overwhelmed, and more relaxed, but I don’t. I may get rid of possessions daily, but I don’t feel free.

I feel pressure and expectations to get things done, make goals happen, bring happiness to those I love, and to wake-up and impress myself. I’ve shed a lot of material things, but I still feel constrained. Starting my business granted me freedom of time (the very thing I thought I needed to live fully). But then there were people telling me how to run a business, how to be a mother, how to love, how to be loved, and ultimately how to live. I never realized how much I haven’t chosen solely on my own. Being the self-driven and out-spoken individual, I am, this came as a shock. How much of a roll have others played on my life and the decisions I’ve made? How much of it is me and how much of it is the box I created around me?

As I get older, each day I take interest in things I would have never given a second thought before. Someone like me doesn’t do those things, wear, listen or buy those things. I’d like to believe I’m adventurous and open but it’s as long as it fits within the parameters of who I expect to be, who my parents raised me to be, who my friends are, and who society says I am.

"Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it."             -Joshua Becker

Your values are not only reflected in material possessions, but choices and commitments as well. Here I am thinking it’s the things holding people back (myself included) but it’s the choices tied to them that's creating the damage.

With only weeks away from my 28th birthday, I feel the strongest urge to reevaluate the life I’ve created. The choices I’ve made have gotten me here, yet some are keeping me here as well. Every day of September I’ll be letting go of choices, commitments, and of course things til September 19th. Feel free to join in for your own declutter voyage  or watch the journey unfold.  What better way to freedom than granting yourself a blank slate.

Feel free,

Mel 

Why New Mommies are so Sentimental

As IV’s 2nd birthday quickly approaches I can’t help but want to do something special. A big party for someone who doesn’t understand the concept of “Happy Birthday” seems silly. Having a party at all is kind of ridiculous. He can barely say Happy Birthday. Let me give him more credit. He can say it, but he doesn’t know what he’s saying! It’s just another day to him. He’ll wake me up at 7am just the same, eat his breakfast, watch Calliou, beg to play on the computer with me, fuss about napping, nothing would've changed in his eyes. So why celebrate a toddler’s birthday?

It may be just another day for him, but for me it’s a moment to reminisce on these past two years. I get to appreciate how much he’s grown. I may still be changing diapers, but we’re a long way away from sleepless nights from feedings every 4 hours. Today the village gets to share all the special moments we’ve had since he’s come into our world. It’s a moment to count the numerous blessings that creating a life brings. It’s a moment to be sentimental. And new moms never miss a sentimental moment.

Mamarazzi at it's finest. I did IV's entire newborn photo shoot 

Being a mom, especially a new one, we’re always looking for ways to capture these fleeting occurrences.  Before they arrive we are capturing their essence with 3D photos and maternity shoots. We preserve their first outfit from the hospital and every outfit after that, scrapbook every new milestone, and have become mamarazzis for our little ones. They are the light of our lives and God forbid we let them forget it.

But how much is too much? I can’t help but wonder will IV read the journal I wrote in everyday during my pregnancy? Will he cherish the scrapbook I create that entails everything from stories of the first hospital scare, to an actual leaf we found walking during the beginning of Fall? He may find these things sweet, but will he care?

As I organize the homes of many who struggle to let go of things, I can’t help but be understanding. These so-called things represent feelings, some beautiful, some awful, but they are dear to us. But they are only dear because of what or who they are connected to. That’s where the true bond lies, in the relationship, in the experience, not in the thing itself. If I were to toss the journal, the scrapbook, and the gently worn newborn onesie, would my son feel less loved? Would my love be diminished? Will our bond be any less magical?

It's pretty clear what the answer is. As I sift through these pictures for a diy project for his party this weekend,  I’m reminded that it’s just another day. It’s another beautiful day that I get to love my son. And that alone makes today sentimental and every day after that.

Happy Birthday Boobie.

Love,

A Sentimental Mom

If you’d like to learn how to create this number cut out for your little one's birthday subscribe to Feel Free TV. New video tomorrow on how I did it, and most Thursdays after that 😉 #feelfree