When caring for yourself is a struggle..
This September,
I'm showing up for you in ways you may struggle showing up for yourself.
I never saw what it looks like for a woman to take care of her own needs.
I always saw my mother caring for others.
When she was caring for others, there was a bright smile on her face.
When she wasn't, she looked exhausted and fell asleep whenever she was off her feet.
Because my mother worked so much and so hard for everyone else, I have very few memories of us spending time together, playing, enjoying each other's company.
Watching this as a child embedded in my subconscious that everyone else's needs come before my own.
It taught me to never pay attention to myself, ignore my body and intuition.
I grew up hypervigilant anticipating everyone else's needs, while ignoring my own, pushing myself past exhaustion to prove myself, building relationships with people who didn't and couldn't care for me because my needs weren't a priority. I knew how to take care for myself, and I knew how to care for them too.
Truth is, I didn't know how to care for myself.
I knew how to make it look like I was cared for while silently suffering. I was the epitome of depressed but make it cute.
I watched my mom have mental breakdowns just to go back to doing the same things that broke her down. I followed her footsteps.
There is only one thing that is different about my breakdowns than my mothers. Instead of running to church or the same friends or family members that didn't know how to support me, I ran to nature. I wandered the forest. I ran to a different country. I submerged myself underwater. I ate plants. I watched the stars. I listened to the birds. I found nourishment from the Earth.
Nature saved me and continues to whenever I get lost.
As I approach my 33rd year this Virgo season, I'm reminded of my purpose. Virgo is represented as a pure being holding grains in her palm. It's as if she is here to remind others the power and gift nature holds.
This September I am here to remind you of how to care for yourself.
To remind you the power you hold is found within.
Will you take this opportunity to practice meeting your needs?
Will you take this opportunity to define your needs?
Will you take this opportunity to nourish the parts of you begging for your attention?
September I'll hold the space for us to
-move our bodies
-learn how to care for ourselves from local professionals
-manage our papers
-manage our digital world
-manage our homes
I'm doing this because I know if we learn how to care for our needs better, the men around us will know how to care for us better, the children we're raising will know how to care for their needs better.
The next generation will be filled with men who support their women and women who know what it looks and FEELS like to be supported.
In order for this to happen it starts with us.