Where is the space?
I admit, I know how to simplify a space but simplifying my life is much different. I've setup automatic payments for bills, have a daily routine, but I often feel like I can't catch my breath at the end of the day. I'm always doing something, going somewhere.
There's zero space in my life to wander, ponder, just be.
I recently miscarried and the experience of being pregnant again made me slow all the way down. I was too tired do the extra things I resent doing but feel I should. I found myself cuddled on the couch watching childhood movies with my six year old.
Why did it take such an event to make me open my eyes and appreciate my life?
Why am I in a rush for more desires?
Why can’t I enjoy being?
Childhood memories surfaced of seeing my parents always on the go, productive, never resting or enjoying life, only pushing through it. I believe my parents' generation was always pushing for a better life for my generation. I am the product of relentless effort to survive and a fight to thrive.
My parent's constant productivity may have got me here, for that I thank them. {Love you Mom and Dad} Yet this energy of always pushing through drains me and keeps my fears close by.
Since I refocusing my attention on healing and taking care of myself, I found a peace I didn't know was there. The hardly important tasks I let go of made space for rest, friends, community, and getting in tune with myself. It all gave me a contentment I felt was unattainable until I reached full financial freedom or in a healthy loving relationship.
I share this with you as a reminder that this moment right here is life. What we do every day makes up the quality of life we live. If something feels off, it's possible it's time to let go. Let go and see what fills its place effortlessly- could be love, peace, contentment.
The power of simplicity is not in the letting go but what is welcomed once you do.
feel free.