When caring for yourself is a struggle..
I grew up hypervigilant anticipating everyone else's needs, while ignoring my own, pushing myself past exhaustion to prove myself, building relationships with people who didn't and couldn't care for me because my needs weren't a priority. Truth is, I didn’t know how to care for myself.
This September,
I'm showing up for you in ways you may struggle showing up for yourself.
I never saw what it looks like for a woman to take care of her own needs.
I always saw my mother caring for others.
When she was caring for others, there was a bright smile on her face.
When she wasn't, she looked exhausted and fell asleep whenever she was off her feet.
Because my mother worked so much and so hard for everyone else, I have very few memories of us spending time together, playing, enjoying each other's company.
Watching this as a child embedded in my subconscious that everyone else's needs come before my own.
It taught me to never pay attention to myself, ignore my body and intuition.
I grew up hypervigilant anticipating everyone else's needs, while ignoring my own, pushing myself past exhaustion to prove myself, building relationships with people who didn't and couldn't care for me because my needs weren't a priority. I knew how to take care for myself, and I knew how to care for them too.
Truth is, I didn't know how to care for myself.
I knew how to make it look like I was cared for while silently suffering. I was the epitome of depressed but make it cute.
I watched my mom have mental breakdowns just to go back to doing the same things that broke her down. I followed her footsteps.
There is only one thing that is different about my breakdowns than my mothers. Instead of running to church or the same friends or family members that didn't know how to support me, I ran to nature. I wandered the forest. I ran to a different country. I submerged myself underwater. I ate plants. I watched the stars. I listened to the birds. I found nourishment from the Earth.
Nature saved me and continues to whenever I get lost.
As I approach my 33rd year this Virgo season, I'm reminded of my purpose. Virgo is represented as a pure being holding grains in her palm. It's as if she is here to remind others the power and gift nature holds.
This September I am here to remind you of how to care for yourself.
To remind you the power you hold is found within.
Will you take this opportunity to practice meeting your needs?
Will you take this opportunity to define your needs?
Will you take this opportunity to nourish the parts of you begging for your attention?
September I'll hold the space for us to
-move our bodies
-learn how to care for ourselves from local professionals
-manage our papers
-manage our digital world
-manage our homes
I'm doing this because I know if we learn how to care for our needs better, the men around us will know how to care for us better, the children we're raising will know how to care for their needs better.
The next generation will be filled with men who support their women and women who know what it looks and FEELS like to be supported.
In order for this to happen it starts with us.
See you 9p-10 est Sun- Thurs
Let love in.
Maybe love won't be so conditional in relationships when we experience love from multiple sources. When I only give my love to one person it feels sacred and deeply disappointing when it's not reciprocated. When my love is being experienced in multiple ways, I’m left feeling full of love.
Expanding has a place in simplifying. Getting more specific can complicate things, cause overthinking, and use an enormous amount of energy. It may be important to be specific when organizing a home office, but if you take a 30 thousand foot view you would see everything you own in one space, your home.
On this love day, I couldn't help but think about ways I'm willing to give and receive love. In my world, love is usually reserved for romantic interests or for kids. The more I expand my view of love I see I have limited myself to only receiving love at certain times in certain ways, instead of allowing it to flow from all over.
It can cause a lot of stress to have only one or two sources of love. When I open up an avenue of love to myself, friends, goddesses I work with, even strangers, there's a loving energy that lingers with me all day. This feels like the kind of love bell hooks speaks of in All About Love.
Maybe love won't be so conditional in relationships when we experience love from multiple sources. When I only give my love to one person it feels sacred and deeply disappointing when it's not reciprocated. When my love is being experienced in multiple ways I’m left feeling full.
Telling someone what they mean to you is an act of love.
Taking care of the body is love.
Attention is love.
A conversation is love.
Care is love.
Acceptance and understanding is love.
Creating a home designed for who you are is an act of love.
Where can you let more love in?
feel free.
Organizing your home is love.
I’m teaching people how to organize their homes for their needs this month. Are you ready to receive more love at home?
What does taking care of your needs look like?
I admit I'm used to emotional chaos, constantly feeling overwhelmed and underprepared for what life throws my way is what drives my deep need for organization and efficiency. I'm seeing how I'm the one making myself feel anxious and stressed. The environment may trigger me, but I can also create that environment.
Feels new to take care of myself over taking care of my ego. Here I am giving myself facials, baking banana bread, pouring into my peers stepping into the home organizing industry. The space that used to be filled with productivity is being filled with substance. These moments feel foreign. I find myself thinking, "What should I do next?" now that I'm not constantly feeding the ego train of do more, be better.
What does taking care of your needs look like?
It looks like eating for me.
Replacing productivity with something that fuels me on multiple levels has become therapy.
Cooking provides physical nourishment, creates a bonding experience that me and my little one will cherish forever, and allows me to be a gift to others by sharing the food I make. Although cooking gives me so much, my body is not used to receiving this kind of care.
My body is used to snacks on the go, eating in the car.
Getting used to my body not being drained at the end of the day or my mind not feeling like it has to scream is what I'm adjusting to. The peacefulness of it all.
I admit I'm used to emotional chaos, constantly feeling overwhelmed and underprepared for what life throws my way is what drives my deep need for organization and efficiency. I'm seeing I am the master of my anxious energy and stress. The environment may trigger me, but I can also create that environment.
There is a sense of fear that I won't be able to keep this up. That life will continue to get busier and add more than I can handle. This is why simplifying is a journey. It's my job to rewire myself and create a life I love managing. It's my job to create a body and mind I love being in. I am the gatekeeper to my mind, body and spirit. It's up to me to decide what I allow in.
Although learning how to manage my mental and emotional environment is new, managing the physical environment is not.
Is your home needing rewiring? I'm teaching how to create a home that supports your needs and nourishes your lifestyle. This month, learn how to organize with efficiency and ease. If this is something you and your partner can benefit from, tap in below.
feel free,
Create the home you always needed
Virtually I will coach you on how to organize your home and follow-up with a organizing session in-person.