When caring for yourself is a struggle..
I grew up hypervigilant anticipating everyone else's needs, while ignoring my own, pushing myself past exhaustion to prove myself, building relationships with people who didn't and couldn't care for me because my needs weren't a priority. Truth is, I didn’t know how to care for myself.
This September,
I'm showing up for you in ways you may struggle showing up for yourself.
I never saw what it looks like for a woman to take care of her own needs.
I always saw my mother caring for others.
When she was caring for others, there was a bright smile on her face.
When she wasn't, she looked exhausted and fell asleep whenever she was off her feet.
Because my mother worked so much and so hard for everyone else, I have very few memories of us spending time together, playing, enjoying each other's company.
Watching this as a child embedded in my subconscious that everyone else's needs come before my own.
It taught me to never pay attention to myself, ignore my body and intuition.
I grew up hypervigilant anticipating everyone else's needs, while ignoring my own, pushing myself past exhaustion to prove myself, building relationships with people who didn't and couldn't care for me because my needs weren't a priority. I knew how to take care for myself, and I knew how to care for them too.
Truth is, I didn't know how to care for myself.
I knew how to make it look like I was cared for while silently suffering. I was the epitome of depressed but make it cute.
I watched my mom have mental breakdowns just to go back to doing the same things that broke her down. I followed her footsteps.
There is only one thing that is different about my breakdowns than my mothers. Instead of running to church or the same friends or family members that didn't know how to support me, I ran to nature. I wandered the forest. I ran to a different country. I submerged myself underwater. I ate plants. I watched the stars. I listened to the birds. I found nourishment from the Earth.
Nature saved me and continues to whenever I get lost.
As I approach my 33rd year this Virgo season, I'm reminded of my purpose. Virgo is represented as a pure being holding grains in her palm. It's as if she is here to remind others the power and gift nature holds.
This September I am here to remind you of how to care for yourself.
To remind you the power you hold is found within.
Will you take this opportunity to practice meeting your needs?
Will you take this opportunity to define your needs?
Will you take this opportunity to nourish the parts of you begging for your attention?
September I'll hold the space for us to
-move our bodies
-learn how to care for ourselves from local professionals
-manage our papers
-manage our digital world
-manage our homes
I'm doing this because I know if we learn how to care for our needs better, the men around us will know how to care for us better, the children we're raising will know how to care for their needs better.
The next generation will be filled with men who support their women and women who know what it looks and FEELS like to be supported.
In order for this to happen it starts with us.
See you 9p-10 est Sun- Thurs
Life is more beautiful than this.
Maybe the lack of richness in everyday living makes life harder to do. I feared getting to this point on my journey of simplification. At the end of perfectly organized drawers is the realization I’m not living the life I need.
Life's conveniences have replaced rich interactions. Every day I can peer into any topic or aspiration through a screen, but peering into my friends, family or community is more challenging. Nourishing my relationships is hard when the last thing I want to do is be on the phone. Video chatting, calls, texts, just get the whole phone away from me.
I want pheromones, skin, vocal tones, nonverbal body language.
I have to be intentional about making sure I don't spend most of my time with a laptop, laundry and the miscellaneous possessions of others. This means fighting the urge to spend my free time recovering from my doing time.
Why is life draining when my world is filled with endless conveniences?
Maybe the lack of richness in everyday living makes life harder to do. I feared getting to this point on my journey of simplification. At the end of perfectly organized drawers is the realization I’m not living the life I need.
Life is more beautiful than this.
My relationships used to be deeper. Now my interactions feel like touchpoints, a high five until we see one another on the next lap around.
It would be nice if conveniences added to life’s richness.
I share this with you because, you may not know the by-product of getting organized and simplifying life is clarity.
Once you see your truth you can’t unsee it. The clarity I continue to find is about myself and how I'm meant to live. I always feared this day would come, the day I'm unable to avoid my actual needs and desires. I now must let go of my fears, insecurities, limitations, and decide what belongs. Are you on this journey with me?
Are you ready for clarity?
A path to organization you can manage
Introducing monthly focused organizing to get your home feeling and looking the way you need it.
Let love in.
Maybe love won't be so conditional in relationships when we experience love from multiple sources. When I only give my love to one person it feels sacred and deeply disappointing when it's not reciprocated. When my love is being experienced in multiple ways, I’m left feeling full of love.
Expanding has a place in simplifying. Getting more specific can complicate things, cause overthinking, and use an enormous amount of energy. It may be important to be specific when organizing a home office, but if you take a 30 thousand foot view you would see everything you own in one space, your home.
On this love day, I couldn't help but think about ways I'm willing to give and receive love. In my world, love is usually reserved for romantic interests or for kids. The more I expand my view of love I see I have limited myself to only receiving love at certain times in certain ways, instead of allowing it to flow from all over.
It can cause a lot of stress to have only one or two sources of love. When I open up an avenue of love to myself, friends, goddesses I work with, even strangers, there's a loving energy that lingers with me all day. This feels like the kind of love bell hooks speaks of in All About Love.
Maybe love won't be so conditional in relationships when we experience love from multiple sources. When I only give my love to one person it feels sacred and deeply disappointing when it's not reciprocated. When my love is being experienced in multiple ways I’m left feeling full.
Telling someone what they mean to you is an act of love.
Taking care of the body is love.
Attention is love.
A conversation is love.
Care is love.
Acceptance and understanding is love.
Creating a home designed for who you are is an act of love.
Where can you let more love in?
feel free.
Organizing your home is love.
I’m teaching people how to organize their homes for their needs this month. Are you ready to receive more love at home?