Melissa Harris 10/1/17 Melissa Harris 10/1/17

The Power, Pain, and Process of Letting Go

Letting go is not about throwing everything away, cutting off toxic relationships, and chopping off all your hair. Granted, each of these things may happen as you shed the old you and welcome in a new phase. But there’s more going on underneath the surface. I was highly ambitious a few weeks ago when I decided to spend the next 19 days letting go of everything unnecessary in my life. Just in time for a fresh start on my 28th birthday. The first couple of days were a breeze. I was tossing like a mother. Plus I had great motivation to donate for Hurricane Harvey relief in Houston. It wasn’t until I reached the non-physical things that brought up tons of hesitation. Sometimes we’re ready for great change in life on birthdays, New Years, in new seasons, but even positive change can feel awful adjusting to, especially when doing it alone.

Expect the Great, Gross, and Transforming

Letting go of things should feel freeing and revitalizing, right? There should be a total shift in your heart, body and spirit that makes you feel like a new person. Let me assure you, these feelings do come, but not during the process. When you’re clearing out your closet, deleting thousands of emails, tossing memorabilia of horrible exes, you’re also reflecting on the choices you’ve made. And these choices don’t go down easy. You struggle with the shame and disappoint. All of sudden, your and past and present are looking you in the face begging for answers. That’s where most of us get angry, sad or both then bail. We’d rather not deal with it, not today, not ever. But that’s the thing, it never leaves us. The energy of our things and choices is always there and it rears its ugly head the next time change comes into our lives (a new relationship, birth, death, a new job opportunity).

The Power in Letting Go

We are the sum of our experiences. Each one preparing us for the next. We often ask to be blessed with greatness beyond measure, yet don't understand what it will take to hold onto the things we desire. Letting go is about taking the time to learn from our past. Reflect on it, grow from it, and be thankful for getting past it. Most of all, it’s embracing who and where we are now. None of us are who we were two years ago, one relationship ago, or even a day ago. Today we are filled with new hopes and aspirations that can only materialize if we make room for it. That’s why there’s power in learning to let go.

Learn to Let Go

A few weeks ago I was stopped dead in my tracks as I let go of everything from papers and emails to negative thoughts. Letting go of things that don’t provide value to our lives, produce benefits of many kind: clarity, focus, less stress, increased content, peace, joy and the list goes on. Getting stuck in the process can be discouraging but the positive effects are also motivation enough to learn how to overcome them. I realized just like my clients, I needed support, and knew I wasn’t the only one. As Fall sheds the dead to hibernate for the Winter in preparation to blossom in the Spring, the symbolism of it felt like the perfect time to learn the art of letting go. For the month of October I’ll be practicing the art of letting go and having candid conversations about the process. If you’re ready for a new season in your life, join in, let go and start anew.

Feel free,

Mel

Interested in letting go of things in your home? As a Professional Organizer that’s what I do. Don’t be shy, contact me for your free consult.

Melissa Harris 12/30/16 Melissa Harris 12/30/16

Minimalism: A Rich Life Without Having to be Rich

It’s the day after Christmas, and I’m running to the mall. Not to buy anything, God no. I’m not a fan of nationwide sales. Especially the kind that tricks you into believing you’re saving so much money it’s necessary to abandon quality time with friends, family or even yourself, to buy more stuff you won’t use or wear. I was returning some gifts that were well-intended but not quite right for me. I was confident hardly anyone would be at the mall. It was raining, gloomy, and it was the day after Christmas after all. Hadn't everyone spent all their savings the days prior? I was terribly wrong. It was packed. Packed to the max. Excuse the simple, predictability of my words, but that’s how it looked. Everyone standing in line with their Macy’s 25% off coupons confused by why they didn’t apply to the items they were purchasing.

“Because, this was the only way to get you into the store to spend more money than you actually intended, knowing you were never saving anything in the first place.” The clerk gently explained with a smile on her face.

People's Need for More

It amazes me that year after year, holiday after holiday, sale after sale, people have yet to catch onto the games that are being played by retail companies. It doesn’t matter how much stuff people have, for some reason they still believe they NEED, not want, but absolutely need more. “Oh I need a new coat. This room needs a bigger TV. It's half-off!”

If you stopped to take a sneak peak in the households of each of these individuals ready to buy more, you will find someone irritated by how much stuff is everywhere and can never kind what they need. A mother who can’t get a moment to herself because every single weekend she’s doing loads of laundry and never-ending tidying up. A beautiful woman with enough clothes to open not one, but two boutiques tomorrow, yet she still can’t find anything worth wearing to dinner. You’ll find someone so overwhelmed with their disorganization but instead of doing anything about it, continue to live scattered day in and day out—going from one stressful peak to the next.

(Sigh...)

None of these people are lazy or refuse to change, they’re simply unaware of what to change or how to change. A lot of what we are all seeking from life is translated to the things we invest our money in. Whether it’s love, acceptance, notoriety, purpose, self- worth, it is seen in how we spend our income. As each generation emerges, it is clear money is being spent on the more shallow areas of life- appearance, trends, beauty, cars, clothes, and not on the deeper, more lasting areas- experiences, knowledge, relationships, the environment, world epidemics, personal and professional growth.

Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with spending money on how you appear to those around you. It’s important to feel confident and proud of the image portrayed to the outside world. But the scale has tipped in that direction as if it is more important or solely important above all else. Above how we actually feel about ourselves and our lives, above the state of our relationships with those we love, above our actual reality.

And the reality is this:

People feel over-worked, under appreciated, unfulfilled, living for the weekends, and simply not at peace because there’s ALWAYS something that we should be doing in order to keep up in this race called life.

I felt nothing but pure joy to be around those I loved this Christmas. The ability to be present and embrace careless spontaneity. The simplicity in sharing a story or laughing endlessly at my niece being all or 6 but acting all of 16. The feeling of not needing to be anywhere else but here and now. The holidays are special that way. For a moment, they remind us to be satisfied with the simple things. But what if you didn’t need a holiday to feel like this. What if, enjoying the moment was possible on a daily basis. I’m not talking about living in a state of oblivion- walking around with rose colored glasses without a care in the world, but living in a state of reality, being surrounded by these moments instead of all these things.

Winnie schooling IV on the art of teeth brushing.

How to Live More

How do you achieve that? How do you surround yourself with pure satisfaction instead of always seeking it in things, notifications, acknowledgements, achievements and THINGS? It's simple really, in theory. It's a little more difficult in practice-- for our time at least.

Sometimes we have to let go of what's killing us, even if it's killing us to let go.

In order to make room for something new, we must remove what's getting in the way. I see a lot of people, myself included, seeking for a life less busy, less strenuous, less difficult to maintain. A life where we thrive instead of survive. A life that is rich, even without being rich.

After spending a year in and out of homes of people from all backgrounds and all income brackets, it is clear, without a doubt, that having more does not mean a happier life. Just maybe, we have it backwards. Maybe, having less means living more.

I decided it was time to get off this train and walk a path that feels more natural to who we are as humans, before we were told what we are, how we should be, and what we should buy to feel more complete. Minimalism may not be for everyone, nothing ever is, but if the route you’re currently traveling doesn’t feel quite right, what’s the harm in going the other way? Join me on the path of discovering more life with less.

Feel free,

Mel