Habit Tracking: the Perfect Motivator for Personal Change
Recently a book changed my life. Maybe not changed my life but changed how I see my life. “Change your perspective and everything changes,” they say. I have five more days until the library takes Better than Before back, so I’ve been frantically reading it day and night. The book is about recognizing your habits, building the good ones, while eliminating the bad ones. I always thought that anyone could build habits as long as they schedule it and take action for 30 days than whalah, new habit in place. But it’s not that easy is it.
Recently a book changed my life. Maybe not changed my life but changed how I see my life. “Change your perspective and everything changes,” they say. I have five more days until the library takes Better than Before back, so I’ve been frantically reading it day and night. The book is about recognizing your habits, building the good ones, while eliminating the bad ones. I always thought that anyone could build habits as long as they schedule it and take action for 30 days than whalah, new habit in place. But it’s not that easy is it. Most of the habits I’ve built have been out of necessity or stem from when I was younger. I’ve always been reading a book since the moment I could read and still do to this day, good habit. I always need dessert after every meal and can spend hours inspecting every pore on my face after a shower, bad habit.
As I’ve gotten older and taken on new roles (mother, business owner) decreasing my bad habits have been easy, but building new ones have got the best of me. With every new skill or accomplishment, making it a part of your daily routine is the best way to master it. Yet, it doesn’t matter what I do, new habits won’t stick. No matter how motivated I am or how much I know it will be good for me, my old habits always win. That’s before I realized that we all establish habits differently and understanding yourself makes all the difference.
Better than Before, dives into how we are all hard wired by our tendencies. The four tendencies are: Upholder, Obligor, Questioner, and Rebel. Majority of people fit into the Obligor or Questioner tendency. I’m a Questioner all the way. I need to understand the reason for doing things and believe it to be for the greater good AND valid in order to follow thru. To find out which tendency rules you take the quiz (it’s pretty enlightening). This realization shed light on the fact that I’m a closer and more motivated by inner expectations than outer ones. A habit tracking chart seemed like the perfect solution to tackle my struggles.
It’s simple, low maintenance, and feeds that little person inside me that lights up when something gets done. More importantly, it allows me to track my habits. If there’s no measuring involved, assumption, intention and memory is all that’s left. Unfortunately, those things will always lean towards your favor even if it’s not true. The facts are allow you to know if change has really come.
I’m amped to see how the tracker helps improve my habits. I’m not looking for perfection. We all know none of that exists, but improvement is bliss. If you’re anything like me and tired of being stagnant, doing something different is the key. Take the quiz or dive into the book, either way, find what’s going to help you make lasting change. Will post an update soon on the results 😉.
*This post is not sponsored in any way.*
Feel free,
Mel
Mothers, Permission to be Tardy
The greatest commodity is time. Not money, talent or possessions, but time. I never truly realized how precious it was until I became a mother. A lot of my time was consumed with thinking about his needs, my responsibilities and everything in between. Suddenly I found myself using every minute of every day getting attempting to get things done.
The greatest commodity is time. Not money, talent or possessions, but time. I never truly realized how precious it was until I became a mother. A lot of my time was consumed with thinking about his needs, my responsibilities and everything in between. Suddenly I found myself using every minute of every day "attempting" to get things done.
All my life I’ve had a strange relationship with time. I knew it was important and shouldn’t be wasted, yet dreaded not having enough or using it properly. Growing up my father shaped this perception. It wasn’t acceptable to spend a second doing nothing or allow others to waste those seconds. So to this day, I rush through everything. As if faster is better, when honestly, it’s just exhausting.
I see my clients (mainly mothers) go through this as well. Lining things up perfectly so everything happens at the right time, in the right order. Frustrated and absolutely pissed when it doesn’t. Who do you think gets the blame? Themselves of course, for not seeing the obstacle coming. For not being able to predict the future, for not being magic, for not being perfect.
I find myself doing the same. Rushing through life trying to get everything in as it should be. Desperately reaching for the overarching goal- perfection. You know what I’m talking about. Having the perfect day, being the perfect person, having the perfect life. My mouth waters just typing it.
It's All Perfect Timing
This past week I wanted to go to two events. Both were extremely important to me. It got on my calendar, made arrangements for IV, and “prepped” the night before, and yet I was still late to both of them. Both times I highly considered not going. Believing I wasn’t worthy of the experience if I couldn’t capture all of it. Both times I was angry at myself for not doing everything just right so I could be there 15 min early, take my time, network, appear to be well put together, and absorb all of what I hoped to gain- having the perfect experience. I went anyway, kicking and screaming the whole way in my head.
“They’re going to be nearly done when you arrive.”
“People will shake their head in disappointment of your tardiness”
“No one will take you seriously as a business owner or as a person.”
The truth is, I didn’t know what people were thinking of me, and I wouldn’t have known had I been on time. I had to remember that this was important to me, despite it not turning out as planned. Who I am and how I show up once I get there is all that matters. No one knows what it’s like for me to wake-up and get myself together each day. No one sees my larger than life 2 year old jump around and hide from me to start the day off right or see me fixing us a hot and healthy breakfast, or me driving to a lovely daycare that is always the opposite direction from where I’m going. No one knows anyone’s situation and no one cares. The greatest takeaway from this truth is no one has any power over what opportunities come your way either. It’s up to you to make something out of everything- even the smallest of things.
Needless to say, I was happy I went to the events despite my tardiness. By the end I gained more than I thought I would. I wasn’t thinking about my lateness and neither was anyone else.
Take Your Time
I’m learning to slow down for a few reasons:
1. Rush a toddler if you want to and you’ll find yourself walking out the door with no pants on.
2. Always being in a hurry is not something I don't want to pass down.
3. The extra anxiety I put on myself is unnecessary and unhealthy to my productivity and self-esteem.
4. Slowing down always provides a much better outcome.
The Cost of Perfection
I could be running late but will easily fall onto the bed with IV tickling and laughing, eating his baby toes, and chirping along with the birds right outside the window. I love those moments. In those moments I’m reminded of how beautiful and simple life can be if you let it. Those moments can’t be planned or rushed through. They’re only captured taking your time.
I wonder how many of those I’ve missed with a stranger, a loved one, or even myself? I cringe at the thought.
The pressure to be a perfect person once you become a mother is enormous. You’re constantly attempting to prove that motherhood can’t hold you back or slow you down. When the truth is, it does slow you down and force you to take your time. It reminds you to experience life. Not as a goal-getter or a boss babe, but as the curious spirit you were at birth and still are right now. Society may put pressure on us for not thinking of everything, having everything, and being everything, but we also put it on ourselves.
Give Yourself Permission
Today I grant my own damn permission slip to be tardy. Tardy for having a balanced breakfast, me time with God himself, snuggles with my son, and driving within ten miles of the speed limit. I’m worthy of that. We all are.
I’m a mother, a business owner and more importantly, human. So I can’t be perfect, but I can be free.
Feel free,
Mel
Why New Mommies are so Sentimental
Being a mom, especially a new one, we’re always looking for ways to capture these fleeting occurrences. Before they arrive we are capturing their essence with 3D photos and maternity shoots. We preserve their first outfit from the hospital and every outfit after that, scrapbook every new milestone, and have become mamarazzis for our little ones.
As IV’s 2nd birthday quickly approaches I can’t help but want to do something special. A big party for someone who doesn’t understand the concept of “Happy Birthday” seems silly. Having a party at all is kind of ridiculous. He can barely say Happy Birthday. Let me give him more credit. He can say it, but he doesn’t know what he’s saying! It’s just another day to him. He’ll wake me up at 7am just the same, eat his breakfast, watch Calliou, beg to play on the computer with me, fuss about napping, nothing would've changed in his eyes. So why celebrate a toddler’s birthday?
It may be just another day for him, but for me it’s a moment to reminisce on these past two years. I get to appreciate how much he’s grown. I may still be changing diapers, but we’re a long way away from sleepless nights from feedings every 4 hours. Today the village gets to share all the special moments we’ve had since he’s come into our world. It’s a moment to count the numerous blessings that creating a life brings. It’s a moment to be sentimental. And new moms never miss a sentimental moment.
Mamarazzi at it's finest. I did IV's entire newborn photo shoot
Being a mom, especially a new one, we’re always looking for ways to capture these fleeting occurrences. Before they arrive we are capturing their essence with 3D photos and maternity shoots. We preserve their first outfit from the hospital and every outfit after that, scrapbook every new milestone, and have become mamarazzis for our little ones. They are the light of our lives and God forbid we let them forget it.
But how much is too much? I can’t help but wonder will IV read the journal I wrote in everyday during my pregnancy? Will he cherish the scrapbook I create that entails everything from stories of the first hospital scare, to an actual leaf we found walking during the beginning of Fall? He may find these things sweet, but will he care?
As I organize the homes of many who struggle to let go of things, I can’t help but be understanding. These so-called things represent feelings, some beautiful, some awful, but they are dear to us. But they are only dear because of what or who they are connected to. That’s where the true bond lies, in the relationship, in the experience, not in the thing itself. If I were to toss the journal, the scrapbook, and the gently worn newborn onesie, would my son feel less loved? Would my love be diminished? Will our bond be any less magical?
It's pretty clear what the answer is. As I sift through these pictures for a diy project for his party this weekend, I’m reminded that it’s just another day. It’s another beautiful day that I get to love my son. And that alone makes today sentimental and every day after that.
Happy Birthday Boobie.
Love,
A Sentimental Mom
If you’d like to learn how to create this number cut out for your little one's birthday subscribe to Feel Free TV. New video tomorrow on how I did it, and most Thursdays after that 😉 #feelfree