3 Things to Eliminate to Find Your Happiness

Jamaica, to say there are no words to describe you wouldn't be fair. To say that the five days I spent with you were unfathomable would not justify the bliss you brought to my life. The week I spent in Jamaica about a year ago, gave me a sense of peace, an easy, wonderful feeling that moved through my mind and within my heart. Removing myself from people, environments, and circumstances that support unhealthy habits, transformed my happiness into something I didn't know existed.

I've learned happiness is a decision, and once you make that decision there is a process to find that happiness. A process that begins with elimination.

Eliminate all thoughts that do not fuel you for the better.

There have been times I get a kick out of fueling my anger. I can be so abrasive, cold, and downright belligerent when my feelings are hurt. It comes in a flash, and I am no longer that sweet, silly jellybean. I'm more like that black bitter jellybean that you thought was grape but now you are sadly mistaken. Giving into those hurtful thoughts and expressing it in a way that is harmful to myself and those around me does only one thing, decrease my happiness.

It is best to take a step back and figure out what you're so damn angry about.

Men do this best if you ask me. Because they struggle dealing with their emotions, when emotions do flare up, men step aside and find a way to get back to ground zero. They get into a place where they can be logical again. Females on the other hand are used to emotions and don't care when it comes up or how it gets out. Whatever emotion we feel, those around us will feel it too. (We should wear a caution sign)

Eliminate contact with people who don't bring out the best parts of you

As a teenager I used to get soooo upset at my father.  Whenever we spoke, it had to end with heads getting chopped off and spleens ripped out. Let the best fighter win. It was always him. I used to say 'I'm not like this around anyone else! Only around you!' Now, I'm positive my raging hormones had everything to do with my poor communication skills with my father back then. Plus, what teenager doesn't hate their parents. Like any parent-teenager relationship, there are people in your life who simply don't bring out the best in you. Instead, they bring out the worst.

Don't constantly use energy to fight this person day in and day out. Let them go, so you can make room for people who give you energy instead of drain it.

Eliminate situations that frustrate you or turn them around

Before I went to Jamaica, I was overly stressed due to work. There wasn't a day that something didn't piss me off. (I'm in the process of writing a book called Korporate Will Kill You) After I came back from Jamaica, my job didn't affect me quite the same. I made a decision to pursue life coaching and get certified. My stressful job was now funding my dream job.

Sometimes you can't eliminate the situation you’re in. Although, you can always turn your trials into triumphs, but you must be open to doing so.

After elimination is complete, the process on finding happiness can begin.

The things you go looking for, you are bound to find.

Once you declare your happiness and eliminate your unhappiness, you must look and produce your happy-go-lucky-ness until it is easy to recognize.

Let go of the ideas about what should make you happy. Let go of the idea that more money, more acknowledgement, more friends, more IG fame, more opportunities to sleep, a promotion, or brand new new car will bring about happiness, because it won't.

Yes it will feel good momentarily to acquire these things, but you will be surprised by how quickly that pleasurable high will fade.

With the amount of suicides that have happened by the hands of those with money, fame, and influence, it's apparent that happiness is derived from something on a deeper level.

We have been taught that happiness will come from all the crap we can stuff into our lives: clothes, cars, climbing the corporate ladder, clinging onto things that we will eventually lose.

Truth be told, happiness comes from the experiences we have, from those we love, the ability to grow, learn and change.

It's all about perspective no matter where you are. You must choose to see beauty in the situation you are in.

In Jamaica there was no hot water, no cable, and absolutely no air conditioning in 100 degree weather, but I was surrounded by the bluest ocean, around loving family, and eating the purest food. There was absolutely nothing not to be happy about.

Feel Free,

Mel

What are You Meant to Do?

Every single thing that happened in your life is preparing you for the moment to come -- Oprah

The reason you were made was no accident. It took divine intervention and a series of steps for your existence to come about. You were no mistake. No matter how unprepared your parents were. No matter if they had no intentions of having a child, there was nothing that could stop you from being created.

Think about that for a second...

You are destined for something that is greater than you. You cannot hide from your gifts and purpose. You cannot shield yourself from the personality that is within you. You must be who you are in this world and express it shamelessly.

We all have a purpose and it is hinted to us from the beginning of our lives.

From the age when I could do chores, that was probably 7 years old, I was organizing EVERYTHING. I remember having to gather the trash from each room, sweep, and wiped down counters every Saturday morning. I always ended up categorizing toiletries and accessories.  I made sure every single item had a home. Once I finished I was relaxed and proud. As I got older. I did the same at visits to my sister's newest fly apartment. She would go out and by the time she came back her jewelry was organized, her purses were assorted by color, her shoes were neatly tucked in their respective boxes. All her clothes were hung up and folded, long dresses over here, button ups over there, freak'em dress here. She was always elated to come home to a clutter free bedroom with all her favorite items shining for her to see. Plus she would see all the things she no longer wanted and I would get first dibs (little sister perks). It wasn't until I was on probation (from a traffic violation. I'm no criminal but I murder these streets lol smh). It wasn't until I was on probation and I did my hours at a charity house when I realized I need to organize for a living! I was reorganizing their ENTIRE building and it dawned on me that people need this service and I need to use this gift to build a career. From then on I began building my portfolio as a professional organizer.

Your calling feels like a tap at first. If you're not paying attention it will start to show up in a series of taps. These taps will soon turn into nudges-- nudging you towards one direction. If you ignore it and head the other way, the nudges will turn into pulls. A pull that is so strong, that everywhere you go you are reminded of what it is you should be doing.

Because people often forget that we are not the sole creator of the world around us, it can feel odd going in a direction that was not your idea in the first place. It can be unsettling to believe you should be doing one thing but you continue to do something else.

Listening to the signs life throws our way will lead to authentic happiness and satisfaction. There is nothing greater than playing out the role you were destined to play. If you are thinking I don't know what I'm meant to do, just stop. You are doing it all the time without even realizing it. What do you do automatically without realizing it? What do you do without even trying? What is something you are well known for among your family and friends? What have you been doing since you were a child that you still do today?

It could be as simple as talking plenty, making friends where ever you go,  or planning projects. If talking is second nature for you, maybe you would be great at radio, hosting conferences, or doing speaking engagements.

If you effortlessly make friends the moment you step into a room, you are a natural relationship builder which is a needed skill in PR, Marketing and Business.

If you're always planning a girls night out, birthday parties, or trips, maybe event planning or project management is your thing.

Point is, notice the taps, follow the nudges, and give into the pulls life reveals to you. You are the co-creator of the world around you, but there is already a plan in place for you. All you have to do is follow it.

Feel Free,

Mel

The Search to Find Your Happiness

 

The other day I was watching a movie on a Netflix called Hector and the Search for Happiness. It grabbed my attention because it's a common journey that we all partake at one point in our lives. Plus it looked like an Indi (Independent Film) and I love Indi's.

In the movie he goes on this hunt to find what really brings people happiness by traveling to multiple countries, in hopes of healing his distress clients and his mundane lifestyle. There are a couple realizations throughout the film that inspired this post. Here they go:

Many ppl only see happiness in their future

- For some reason many of us are under the impression that true happiness will come into our lives once we reach a certain place on this road called life. A place that we can be proud of, brag about. A place that we have been dreaming about since childhood. But how will you know you have reached this moment? When will what you've done and what you have, be enough to feel grateful and blissfully happy? Happiness is about perspective. Try taking a second look at where you are and see the beauty in all you've become.

Making comparisons kill happiness

-This is true without a doubt. For me there are certain FB pages I won't even go to because they are in a place that I aspire to be and the more I focus on their greatness the less attention I give my own. You have to actively not compare yourself to others because we all have our own story. No two is alike. Be glad for where you are and where you are going because it's the only path you could've taken.

Avoiding unhappiness is not the road to happiness

- People are so desperate to avoid hardship. How many times have you heard someone say they're purposefully pushing people away because they don't want to be hurt again or dissappointed? So they do everything and anything to hurt someone who is genuinely trying to love them or at the very least get to know them. All because of the thought of being possibly unhappy ..maybe...in the future..at some point. Grow up! Happiness is the some of sadness, fear, and love. You can't be picky about the emotions that brings you to life. Don't rob yourself of all that life can be because it's not favorable all the time. It's simply not supposed to be.

Happiness is answering your calling

-It is one thing to work but it's another thing to work towards what it is you are meant to do. (And we are all meant to do something) Each of us has a calling. Each of us are supposed to carry out specific tasks while we are here. It is important that to find what you were put on this planet to do and don't hesitate to complete it.

Happiness is knowing how to celebrate the small things

-It does not have to be grand and extravagant for it to bring you joy. We can get so caught up in grand gestures and huge announcements that kind words and considerate actions go unnoticed. Find joy in all the things that put a smile on your face- whether they be big or small.

Happiness is if your person brings you predominantly up

-How long must a person stay with someone who brings them joy only occasionally? How hurt does someone need to be in order to realize it’s time to move on? Your person should bring you higher, make you better and take you places you could never imagined going before. Life is too short to be loved any less.

Find your happiness—claim it, express it, and never, EVER let someone steal it.

Feel Free,

Mel

**This month the theme is HAPPINESS. All posts and pics will revolve around what makes me happy, what makes others happy and the role happiness plays in personal and professional lives**