The 1 Reminder Every Mom Needs
Just because you're raising a child, your ambitions don't dissappear. All the things you've ever wanted to do are still there, waiting, lurking, wondering when you're going to acknowledge their presence once again.
Just because you're raising a child, your ambitions don't dissappear. All the things you've ever wanted to do are still there, waiting, lurking, wondering when you're going to acknowledge their presence once again.
While I was pregnant I had this awesome plan of how I was going to raise an amazing child and build a business in all my spare time. (Moms know there's no such thing as spare time) I was going to wake up early or stay up late. Multitask while playing with my son. Go to events with my baby right on my hip as if nothing had changed. I even started a meet up group within the last month of my pregnancy, totally convinced I would have one event a month (since IV has been born I haven't had a single event).
When my little one actually came along, nothing, and I mean ab-so-lute-ly nothing, was like I thought it would be. From my body, to my emotions and my mind, I was different in ways that were painfully obvious. I never knew I could reach a point of tiredness that at any moment I wasn't actively doing something, I was falling asleep. I didn't know showering and eating would turn into 10 minute breaks of me time. I had no idea that I could cry at the drop of a dime all because I dropped something and I couldn't reach to pick it up in fear of waking my baby.
Thoughts of working on my business didn't exist. How could it? I could barely think straight.
I was too tired, too confused, and too unmotivated to see my dreams.
But I pushed forward.
"There's no slowing down, as the globe spins around and round. You gotta keep going"-- Jehne Aiko
As much as I wanted to give up, something inside wouldn't let me. So I kept creating. I created action steps for myself for when I did get my MOJO back. I wrote blog posts even though I wasn't posting any. I stayed connected to people I wanted to build business relationships with.
You have to reconnect with who you are.
These things were small but it kept a tiny lit fire burning inside me when I was ready to blow it out.
You have to remind yourself that you still have options even though you have no idea how it's going to happen.
Having a child will change how you thought you would achieve success. It will change your vision for the future and what you're willing to do AND NOT DO to get there. But it's a journey like any other. You must stay focused, be resourceful, get creative, stay hopeful, andkeep going.
I dont stop and think about how things will work out becuase if i do, everything feels impossible. And nothing positive comes from a state of doubt. You have to do the work not concerned about whether you're going to get there because you will.
Every little thing you continue to do builds your desire, strengthens your capabilities, and opens opportunities for everything you want out of life.
Just like your child, your ambitions aren't going anywhere so no point in ignoring them.
Feel free,
Mel
What is the One Simple Thing We All should do to be Happier?
If you want to fly, you have to give up the things that weigh you down. ---Anonymous
There are many things that takes a lot of energy to deal with. Sometimes it's our friends, family, a job, or a relationship. It's as if you're walking around with a constant reminder of something you don't want to do, but you do it anyway, all because you think you have to.
If you want to fly, you have to give up the things that weigh you down. ---Anonymous
There are many things that takes a lot of energy to deal with. Sometimes it's our friends, family, a job, or a relationship. It's as if you're walking around with a constant reminder of something you don't want to do, but you do it anyway, all because you think you have to.
You do it because you care. You do it because you feel obligated. You do it because a lot of time has been invested.
Letting go of things that have changed or no longer serves you is a natural part of life. The urge to hold on is due to the uncertainty of the outcome if the situation changes. There's no telling if you will like the alternate option better, so you deal with what you can't let go of, but should.
There's one thing for sure, the simpler you make your life the happier you will be. I absolutely love to complicate things. It's sad but it's true lol. I don't do it on purpose, but in order for me to get to a solution, I must go through complex scenarios. I make things harder on myself and harder on others. So I started looking for the simplest way to get what I want in my personal life and business life.
I began with my business. There are so many things that I want to do and become, so I (attempt) to tackle more tasks than I have bandwidth for. There's only 24 hours in a day, but I will cram more and more things in each hour as if I have 34 hours to work with. This is a great recipe if you want to start tasks and not finish them, forget to do the important things, and make small mistakes that have big consequences later.
So I finally tried something different. I made a list of ALL the things I want to get done in regards to my business and personal life. Everything I could think of I wrote it on one sheet of paper and put it up over my desk. I take one item from the list and add it to my agenda book. ONLY ONE. If I don't complete it that day, it goes on my agenda for the following day until it's done. Since I'm not thinking of the 1001 things that I should get done I'm able to stay consistent and actually make progress.
I say this because it's easy to put all this unnecessary pressure on yourself to be amazing, do amazing things, and be the best at absolutely everything. But just in case you haven’t figured it out yet, that's impossible. You should always bring your best self forward but it should not be at the expense of your emotional, mental or physical wellbeing.
Let go of ideas, people, situations, habits that are holding you back from going to the next level in your life. You are the one weighing yourself down -- not your job, not your significant other, not your responsibilities, but You.
If you want to fly, Just. Let. Go.
How to maintain your happiness when others around you are miserable
It's a beautiful day. You woke up before your alarm, had a good breakfast, got to work on time. You know that without a doubt today is going to be lovely day. Then your coworker comes over complaining about work before work has even started. You're thinking to yourself, is she serious? She's mad already? Has she even turned on her computer yet? You listen and nod your head as she goes on an on about the same thing she complained about yesterday. This is not how you wanted to start your morning but you feel bad ignoring her so you let her vent.
Twenty minutes later you're semi annoyed, drained and no longer have that pep in your step.
Moments like this can really throw off what was supposed to be a great day. It is really tough recovering from a negative conversation.
Misery loves company.
You've heard it before and you'll hear it again, because truth doesn't fade. Negative people want to be heard, but more than anything, they want to rally up negativity within others so they can feel good about being so miserable. They want to justify their self sabotaging thoughts and negative attitudes, so they seek for validation anywhere they can get it.
Now at one point or another, we have all been in a negative space and dumped negative energy onto anyone who would listen. The older I got, the more experienced I became, the more I understood the power of words. The words we think and say develop into our physical world.
Think of words like clay. It starts out as a blob, just a single mass with no meaning. Then you begin to twist, turn and combine this clay together. Next thing you realize, you have created something you can recognize, describe, and observe.
Words are like that. They start out as simple definitions and don't start to take on meaning until they are attached to other words that give it meaning. This meaning is given feelings, and those feelings turn into beliefs. Beliefs are part of the foundation we use to determine how we act in any given situation. One action after another creates our experiences, therefore creates our lives. And this all started out with a single word.
The power of words have started revolutions, built empires, and enslaved massive groups of people.
If you don't want others dumping negativity onto your day use words to maintain your power. Use words to maintain your happiness.
Offer help- sometimes complaining is a cry for help. That person will appreciate your assistance and you'll feel good about being a solution to someone's problem.
Be a listening ear- truly listening to someone and saying 'that sucks' or 'how awful' can make them feel heard. Once they feel heard the sooner they will want to talk about something else.
Change the subject to something lighter or more positive - a switch of subjects could be exactly what the person needs. Help them forget about their worries for a bit and focus on something that you both can enjoy- like puppies or chocolate chip cookies from Subway.
Be honest- there is nothing wrong with telling someone you're having a good day and you don't want to mess it up with negativity, can you talk about something else. People fear being honest because of how the receiving person may react and it may hurt their feelings. Instead you're left hurt while the other person feels relieved.
Don't feel guilty about doing what's right for you. You cannot serve anyone else if you don't have what you need and you need your sanity! You need to be stessfree, mentally clear and emotionally sound to deal with all the situations that are going on in your own life. Don't give others the permission to take away the fuel you need in order to make your day better. It's not selfish, it's self preservation.
Feel Free,
Mel