Where are all the Things You Should Have by Now?
How many of you thought you would have a corner office overlooking the city with great big windows by the age of 30? How many were under the impression that a few years after college there would be a big desk with your name on it, a plush leather chair whereyou took calls, cancelled calls, and made enough money for a new car, a home of your own, and plenty of spending cash for trips and clothes?
How many of you thought you would have a corner office overlooking the city with great big windows by the age of 30? How many were under the impression that a few years after college there would be a big desk with your name on it, a plush leather chair where you took calls, cancelled calls, and made enough money for a new car, a home of your own, and plenty of spending cash for trips and clothes?
Sidenote: I honestly don't know who gets big beautiful offices because my manager's manager works in the same tiny office I occasionally pump my breastmilk in. There's no windows, no gold-plated nametag, no big desk, and the chair has to be from Office Max 10 years ago. FACT.
I always envisioned I would've traveled more places by now. I would've definitely had the walk-in closet of my dreams by now. I would absolutely own a nice modern condo downtown by now. Most importantly, I would be running my own business by now.
The place you thought you would be "by now" doesn't exist.
That place was put there to excite you. It was put there to show you what's in store if you better yourself, build your talents, and work hard.
But there's no time stamp on when you will have all that you've ever wanted. And there's no guarantee it will look like what you've imagined.
You must let go of the fantasy double-life you're simultaneously living in your head and check-in to what's real. See all you have done to get here and all you are doing to maintain. What does that look like?
Is it what you imagined? Is it what you hoped for?
I didn't imagine myself with a child until 29...maybe 30. I didn't imagine working for a telecom company because I've never been tech savvy (until now apparently). I never imagined myself skipping out on grad school to pursue a career in coaching.
I never imagined myself here and now that I am, it's not what I thought it would be. The things I hoped for didn't come in the package I expected, but it came.
I'm pursuing a career that is aligned with who I am but I'm doing it as I work at a job I can't stand. The rest of my 20's will be filled with adventures by the side of, not one, but the two loves of my life.
There are still many things that I long for, but I see now that I can have it in many different forms.
Our imagination creates all of our possibilities. We need our imagination to drive us. But don't let the power of your imagination keep you from embracing the things you want just because it's delivered in a different box. What you imagine you can create, you can be, you can have. But sitting in your imagination and refusing to exam your current reality because it's not what you thought it should be is suicidal for your heart's desires.
Everyday it is easy to envision the future, but looking at your life for what it is brings up all the things it's not, as well as what it has become. It allows you to see the things you've done and all the things you have yet to do. You see all the choices that have brought you this far. With a close look, not with your mind but with your heart, you may realize you have exactly what you long for.
This your reality check.
Feel free, Mel
The Thing that must Change for your Situation to Change
In order for your situation to change, you must change.
When I find myself making the same complaints and blaming things on the circumstances around me, it dawns on me that my circumstance is not the issue. It sounds so obvious,
For things to change, you must change".
But instead we tell others how they should change. We tell others what they should do and how to act. Hoping that a change in them will bring about a change in us..
In order for your situation to change, you must change.
When I find myself making the same complaints and blaming things on the circumstances around me, it dawns on me that my circumstance is not the issue. It sounds so obvious,
For things to change, you must change".
But instead we tell others how they should change. We tell others what they should do and how to act. Hoping that a change in them will bring about a change in us.
The last thing we want to do is reflect on our own behavior and the impact it has on our lives. The last thing we want to do alter is ourselves. Even though altering ourself is the only thing we have sole power over. We'd rather not do it. We'd rather not try.
But you can't wait on people or situations to change in order to see your life change. You'll wait forever for something you don't even want.
In order to have control over your life, you must gain control over yourself. Ask yourself, what is the one thing that I could do differently that would change my circumstance?
Like many of us, I desire more time to get things done that are important to me. In order to have that, I would need to wake up earlier. I would need to give myself ample time to prepare for each activity my day consisted of. For as long as i can remember, I've been terrible with time, and I've never been a morning person. The thought of waking up any earlier than 5:45 makes me cringe. But is what I want less important than waking up earlier? If I keep starting my day the same, will I ever have control over the rest of my day? If I never gain control of my days will I ever have control over my life? (I'm drastic like that.) But it's true.
Can you believe it's already August? If you haven't realized it by now, if you let your days pass you by, your year passes by even faster.
Each and every day makes up our life story. And I don't want to look back and say I stayed in a situation I wasn't happy with much longer than I wanted to all because I refused to wake up 30 minutes earlier. All because I refused to change.
I'd rather take control of my day instead of letting the day take control of me.
The changes you make don't have to be big in order to make a big impact. But the changes do have to be about you and you alone and allow the things around you to adjust.
Are you willing to sacrifice the person you are for the life you want?
Feel free, Mel
Why the Information You Learn does Nothing for Your Business or Your Life
They say when you know better you should do better. People take in valuable information everyday and choose not to apply it. Why is that? Is it forgetfullness, laziness, or being too comfortable? I am always reading or watching something that is going to teach me something about anything. But what's the point of all this knowledge if it's not applied anywhere? Is it my goal to become a walking library?! Absolutely not.
Ignorance is only bliss to those who intend on staying there.
They say when you know better you should do better. People take in valuable information everyday and choose not to apply it. Why is that? Is it forgetfullness, laziness, or being too comfortable? I am always reading or watching something that is going to teach me something about anything. But what's the point of all this knowledge if it's not applied anywhere? Is it my goal to become a walking library?! Absolutely not.
I want to better my life and encourage those around me to do the same.
I watched something recently that stated the odds of someone making a change is 9 to 1.
That means,
out of 10 people only 1 will be determined enough to make a significant change in their life.
Even though these odds are stacked up against you, something in the back of your mind tells you that you are the 1 out of 10. With all you have been through, all the talents you possess, all the knowledge you've acquired, you know that with enough time and effort you could beat the odds.
It's not a good feeling knowing what you could be but failing to amount to it. Knowing that life has something more in store, but you haven't found a way to tap into it. Although the odds of making life changes are slim, it's possible. People beat the odds everyday. They don't look back at where they were or who they used to be. They are looking forward at who they know they can be.
In order to beat the odds, make change a must and not a should.
If you knew the steps you must take in order to reach your goal, would you do it?
I've been breastfeeding over 4 months now. I will be breastfeeding until my child is 1 years old. At one he will be able to drink cows milk like the rest of us. There are alternatives that are much easier and less demanding. But I know that my son receives the most nourishment from the milk that I provide him.
So I made a choice, a choice to change. I made producing milk a MUST and not a should. I knew the actions I needed to take to be successful: have a pumping schedule, drink plenty water , take herbs, eliminate certain foods, incorporate other foods, amongst other things. And when someone asked me at the beginning if I was going to buy formula as a last resort for when things get tough (because it was tough. I'm talking cracked nipples and sore breasts. It got ugly ). I told them no.
Because with enough patience and know how, I knew I could reach my goal. 4 months down, 8 more to go.
With all the benefits I know about breast milk, I couldn't sit back and buy my son formula. Since I knew better, I decided to do better.
Just because something is better for you, doesn't make it easier to do. Now with all that you know about yourself and what you are capable of, can you sit back and watch your hopes and dreams waste away? Is your vision for who you can become not compelling enough for you to change?
What would it take to turn the things you should do into the things that you MUST do, to have the life you deserve?
Feel free,
Mel