Getting Stuck in a Bad Place

  It can be really hard to get out of the mud once you’re in it. You never want to go there but one bad thing happens, then another, and another and guess where you find yourself: isolated, tense, emotional, uncomfortable, stressed and frustrated. You want so badly to get out of your funk but it feels damn near impossible. You’ve taken some time alone, worked out, ate your favorite meals, slept (A LOT), maybe even let out a good cry. Still, it is clear you aren’t yourself.

This happened to me recently. I got into the worst disagreement with someone I care about and it snowballed out of control. Each day the conflict grew bigger, and I grew more upset. In this state of mind it’s truly difficult to be productive, playful, and positive. There’s no way to concentrate when something bigger is nagging at you day in and day out. But what did I do, I pushed on anyway. Trying to find peace in an unpeaceful state of mind got me no where. After a couple days, something finally came to mind that I’ve heard once before:

Clarity comes from engagement, not from thought.

Tossing the same negative thoughts, and off the wall assumptions over and over in your head will rarely solve your problems. Reaching out to others who have more experience, may have dealt with a similar situation, talking to someone you trust to give good feedback, as well as talking to those who it involves, can give you that peace of mind you’re reaching for but can’t find on your own.

When I reached out to others I got a combination of advice, support, and instructions lol. Although those tidbits were helpful, that’s not what I finally left with. I left with the feeling of clarity on what I wanted and needed to do.

I want to remind you that the success  we all long for, no matter what it looks like- tons of money, cars, traveling, fame, a business, climbing the corporate ladder, none of that will feel like much if the relationships and friendships in our lives aren’t where they need to be. Before we wanted “success,” we came out the womb wanting love, support, and attention. These basic human needs have never left us and never will. Nurture the relationships that matter most and everything else that you do won’t feel so forced.

Feel free,

Mel

Lessons Learned with Kristin Lloyd-Moussa

I had the privilege of sitting down with Kristin Lloyd-Moussa. Kristin has been a transformational life coach and psychotherapist for over eight years and has had a private office practice for the last five years. Her role as a life coach has had an enormous impact on clients and she treasures the professional and personal satisfaction tied to this role. She is an example of someone who chose to live freely at all cost. She has grown into a successful independent entrepreneur and continues to grow and challenge herself in order to continue rising. I’m starting a series of blogs called Lessons Learned as an Entrepreneur. In each blog you will read about vital information other entrepreneurs who are pursuing their talents and passions have stumbled along their way to success. There will be a lot of achievements as well as failures along the way, but remember you absolutely cannot have one without the other. Lessons Kristin Lloyd-Moussa has Learned:

Lesson One:

“Discipline is vital for your business, especially when you are a one man band.”

Yes Kristin struggled with discipline at the beginning. She had to try multiple strategies before she found how to be consistent in her efforts. There is no way you will be successful doing ANYTHING, especially doing something you love, if you don’t learn the art of discipline. Even the most talented will be outrun by someone with half the talent but double the discipline. Spend the time necessary each day working on something towards your goals.

Lesson Two:

 “There is a whole different side of the business aspect other than what you do and the magic you bring to the table.”

It is one thing to be great at what you do, and it’s another thing to make money from what you do. Kristin learned to build relationships with other professionals by buying them donuts, giving her card and asking for referrals. In order to make a living as an independent entrepreneur you must get good at business. Running a business has almost nothing to do with the service you provide or the products you offer. It’s an entirely different entity that will determine if you will profit from your talent. Not only must you master your craft but you must master being a business.

Lesson Three:

“In the beginning, you keep your day job.”

Kristin worked on her day job from 5:30am- 2:00pm and saw her coaching clients from 3:00 – 8:00. This is a schedule Kristin maintained for years until she grew traction in her coaching practice. I know absolutely no one wants to hear this but it’s an undeniable truth. You can’t just exist. The days of living in the forest and off the land are over. It costs to live. You need healthy food for your body to function at its best. You need access to transportation. You need to buy supplies to build the foundation for your business. You need to take classes to learn about things you don’t know or have the ability to pay someone who already does. Point is, be grateful for that job that’s giving you hell because it’s also funding your dreams.

Lesson Four:

“When I am ready I will let this go”

There is no set time when you are supposed to leave one situation and go to the next. There is also no perfect time to do it. More than likely whenever you do choose to leave an opportunity, it will be uncomfortable, nerve wrecking, alarming, and downright scary. Whether you’re ready or not, these feelings will come but you must listen to that inner guide and move when it is time.

Lesson Five:

Secret Weapon: “One book I highly recommend is the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey”

Kristin swears by this book because of all the information it has taught her. This book is filled with so much insight about personal and business growth. There’s strategies on time management, recognizing your ego, and more. It’s an oldie but goodie. Read it once and you’ll never regret it.

Check out Kristin's website http://transformationalpath.com/ for more information, coaching packages, freebies, and blog updates. Also, keep up with Transformational Path on Twitter @transformpath.

Interested in telling the Lessons You've Learned as you pursue your passion? Email me: joinfeelfreeclub@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you!

Feel Free,

♥Mel♠

Don’t Be Afraid of Your Hunger

There are times you can want something badly enough that you may sound crazy. You yearn for something that seems so out of reach yet so close at the same time, and you believe that with enough effort you could actually have it. It doesn’t matter if no one around you has found it or reached where you aspire to go. The point is you know what you are capable of and that’s enough for you. I have heard from so many females that there are no guys available and all are players, not smart enough, not cute enough, not fly enough, not established enough and so on. Yes, there may not be an infinite pool of perfect men to choose from, but all you need is one. The same can be said about finding a job. So many people are unemployed and yes I did probably send out 50 to 75 applications until I landed a job I was willing to take. I also knew that if I stayed consistent, stayed hungry, I would find a position. But even when you finally get there, you may realize it’s not what you thought it would be. Something may be off, not quite right, and now you want something different.

You’ve worked hard to get here. Friends and family are telling you how many other people would love to be in your shoes. Yet, the sense of dissatisfaction grows as you want more, and maybe not more but different. Don’t fear this pull. Allow it to push you with urgency into the next phase in your life. We were never meant to be dormant and fall into the trap of complacency. We are urged to venture, explore, and discover new parts about life and ourselves.

Whenever someone is pressing that you stay content with where you are, take it with a grain of salt. You moving on and forward can be an undeniable sign that they are not, and that can make people extremely uncomfortable. Now this is also not a memo to be a rolling stone- in any sense.

You are where you are for a reason. (I can’t stress that enough)

The question is:

How do you keep moving forward while in the same place?

- If it’s within a certain job or with a certain person, never stop working on yourself. By consistently progressing, that job or that relationship may turn into what you actually want and if not you are now better prepared for the next thing to come along and less fearsome of it.

- Get a hobby. Honestly, it’s amazing how much you learn about yourself when you work on something you love. In the process you will also connect with others who have the same interests. Not only does this spice up your lifestyle it gives you an opportunity become an expert in an area that may be beneficial for your future. (Your talents always follow you)

-Lastly, this has been the most beneficial but let me warn you, it is also the most difficult. Be the solution, not the problem. It is all too easy to become part of the ruckus and jump on the bandwagon of confusion and uncooperativeness. But this strategy does nothing for you nor the people affected. Find ways to solve issues instead of becoming one.

Don’t stifle the hunger- feed it.

♦Feel free♦

♥Mel