25 Things Before 25

16, 18, 21, 25, 30, and then there’s 50, these are the ages of significant birthdays in the eyes of society. For my sweet sixteen, I had the best time with my girls. For my 18th birthday I was thrown a surprise party. For my 21^st birthday, I can’t remember anything for the life of me (which says a ton). Now I’m here at good ole’ quarter century, 25 and I want something a bit different for my birthday. The club is out of the question—I’ve done enough of that without a call to celebrate. Throwing a party is a no—it’s just so cliché. Dinner with friends, that’s a hell no—even more cliché. Instead of something big, I want to do something significant not significant for the world but for me. So what was the first resource I used to brainstorm ideas? Google of course. Google knows all, sees all, and is all. I found a bunch of different things: go down memory lane with family & friends, throw a theme party, celebrate every quarter of the hour (that’s the absolute most) and then I found make a list of 25 things you really want to do and get that ish done (that was the gist).  This sounded perfect. A bucket list to complete before my 25^th birthday. It got me thinking about the kind of things I wanted to put on the list. Things I haven’t tried before, things I’ve been wanting to do but haven’t because of various reasons—scared, prideful, not enough time etc.

It shouldn’t take an event like a birthday, a death, a break-up, a broken friendship, a holiday, or a horrible argument to reflect on the things that are most significant to you, but sometimes it does. Sometimes we need a reminder that the time on this Earth is not forever, that the people in our lives shouldn’t be taken for granted, that the opportunities and blessings we get each day shouldn’t be downsized….that life should be cherished and filled with all the meaningful moments it can take until it overflows. No matter if it’s catching a movie by yourself, going somewhere you’ve never been, or trying something you’ve never tried, each day should focus on what’s utterly important to thy self and less on what friends want to do or what family thinks you ought to do. It shouldn’t have taken me a significant birthday, but I know it is never too late to start writing the story of our own life. I hope this serves as a reminder to do the same.

**Check back in 2 weeks to see what I’ve knocked off my list. It should be interesting ;-)**

Learning How to Begin Again

Change can really throw you down on your knees. I’m not talking about the kind of change that rearranges your schedule for the day or even a bad haircut. I’m talking about losing your job kind of change. Finding out you’re expecting a baby kind of change. After years of being in a relationship, you are now single againkind of change. The kind of change that alters your life. These changes can leave you confused about the right decisions to make. Maybe it's due to a previous poor choice or just pure coincidence (eventhough I don't believe in coincidences). Despite the fact, this is now the time to make the “right” decision and pick up the pieces. You must begin again. 

True, there is always a moment to mourn, pity yourself, complain, debate with the little voice inside on what you should have and could have done, but this window is short. Life will continue to move forward whether or not you are ready to act. Once you act you are no longer in free fall, but you do enter a world of uncertainty and doubt. Looking at how much is left in your bank account is nerve wrecking. Deciding you’re going to bring a life into the world before you are ready is scary. Allowing someone to get to know you, like really really get to know you is terrifying. Change has its way of questioning the person you thought you were. The one thing these challenges guarantee is this: it makes you into the person you were scared you would become OR it turns into the kind of person that is greater than you dared to imagine. These life altering changes are meant to make us, expand us, and free us from the small box we put ourselves

 in.

As I approach 25, I find myself nervous of the change that is coming my way: the things I didn’t anticipate, the things I banked on but haven’t happened yet…. mainly the way that I’m changing. Your 20's, 30's, 40's all have their moments, but your 20's in particular is when you begin to become that adult you’ve envisioned since your preteen years. What you have been preparing for is starting to fall into place little by little, and it’s easy to want to delay the inevitable (growing-up). It’s easy to say you’re just not ready yet. My peers are the most over-parented generation yet. More and more of us have moved back home. Many of our parents are involved in many, if not most of decisions. There is an invisible safety blanket that can be relied on if life gets a bit too rough. In the long run this is not what will help us see what we are made of, it’ll only reaffirm what we already fear—I can’t do it. Challenging yourself to not live in that thought is the battle. Choosing to act as if YOU ARE READY will bring out the best you have to offer, for that’s the only person that can make it happen.  

Change will absolutely throw you on your knees and make you feel small, but know that on the way up, there’s a strength that can never leave you because now you know it can be done.

I. HAVE. CHANGED.

“Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You have only to come into it, to know it, to realize it. To be.” –Osho

When it comes to changing, people often think you must evolve into something not quite how you really are, but instead of how you should be. People have a way of expressing change as a place they are heading to. A place that is above who they are now and into the light of what they are supposed to be. The stretch of change seems so far and a bit unrealistic. Major things must happen for you to reach the place to say:

 “I. Have. Changed.”

The truth is, when we are changing we are becoming more of the person that is inside of us, more of the person that you say you are when no one is around. You are becoming the person you already knew but did not take the time to show. You are becoming you.

It is easy to debate how change is so radical and drawn out. It is more comfortable to dismiss  what you really are so your day can go smoothly, your career can go smoothly, your week can go smoothly, your relationship can run smoothly, your year can run smoothly……your LIFE, can run smoothly.

Can you imagine the kind of bumps you would cause if you truly expressed yourself in your relationship when asked, ‘What are you thinking about?’ Can you imagine the awkward moment shared by you and your close friends as you acted out a side that’s always been there but they have never seen.

Change seems so far away, into the future. It feels beyond where you can see. But if you look inside yourself for exactly what you are & exactly what you’re not, you will find nothing but reasons to show it. Show it to everyone you meet. Show it to those close to you, and the ones who barely know you. Change into what’s really inside: the reasons of who you are, the ideas you have, the talents you have been given, the things that make you truly happy. Don’t hold these back. You need to show these.

For to change who you are, is to change into who you really are.