Go Hard or Go Home

For some reason, I believe I come from this far away planet (the same one Diddy is from) where people do not need sleep, a well-balanced breakfast, a moment to do just nothing, and especially (this is my favorite) don’t need help from others. Because of this mentality, I’ve proclaimed myself to be the sole person to take care of my newborn son at night as his father sleeps peacefully in our bed. From 12am to 8am, IV and I are deliriously in the trenches together. Although his father is very good at tending to our son once he gets off work, I automatically felt like I didn’t need sleep like he does. All because he must wake up in the morning to go to work. When the truth is, we’re BOTH going to work. My job is just at home taking care of our son. And for those who have children, you know that I’m not watching movies and taking naps all day. (Although that is how I thought I would spend my maternity leave prior to my maternity leave -___- .)

One night I reached a point of no return. IV had been awake but half sleep, whining and fussing since the last time I fed him which was two hours ago. Any moment now, he would need to be fed again. My nipple kept popping in and out his mouth because I was falling asleep while he was in my hands (Dangerous I know, but it happens to all mothers) This is not only frustrating me but imagine IV’s confused chubby face.

(It was something like this)

So I warmed a bottle, put on his bib, woke up his father, and handed him right over. Imagine his confusion being abruptly woken up in the middle of the night for the first time. He was reluctant, but I was adamant about getting some sleep.

“That night I put aside the lie that I have been believing for far too long.. I can do everything.”

No matter how exhausted, stressed, or overwhelmed I am, I can push through and still be successful.

But that’s not true is it? We can’t do everything and be a good girlfriend, daughter, entrepreneur, mother, sister or friend. You can’t function at your best if you are not getting what you need.

The motto is go hard or go home. For anyone that can remember it, Diddy used to have a show called Making the Band, and he would come in the middle of night, like 3am, and wake everyone up in the most dramatic way. He would make this speech about why aren't they practicing, why they don’t need sleep, and how he hasn't slept in years. I must admit, with the success he's had, sleep was probably last on his things to do.

This idea of burn yourself out in order to be successful is a popular belief in our society.

We are to neglect the quality of our lives in order to be successful. Well starting now, I’m totally against that belief.

“You don’t have to be miserable up until you’re successful.”

You’re much better at the things you do and who you are when take care of yourself. The people around you are happier and so are you. You’re not living in a personal jail cell beating yourself up about how you could’ve done more if you had not slept that long, went out with your friends, enjoyed that night of Netflix binging, or talked with your girlfriend for hours about nothing and everything.

The road to success is long and unpredictable. Is it so wrong to make it more enjoyable by nurturing all aspects of your life (emotional, social, and physical) instead of only financial?

We all need different things in life to feel fulfilled and whole. Stop allowing society to tell you that the more you do, the better you are, the closer you are to success. It’s complete hogwash.

A successful life  is a whole life complete with all parts of us living out fully each and every day. Don’t just work on financial success. Work on a successful life. When it’s all said and done, isn’t that what we’re actually chasing?

Feel free,

Mel

What is the purpose behind pain?

I sleep an average of 4 hours a day. The only time I’m alone is in the shower. My breasts are now the size of cantaloupes because they're supplying an all-you-can-eat buffet to a newborn. If you get close, I always faintly smell like baby’s breath (aka milk). My biceps are always slightly sore because I carry another human being between my bosom majority of the day. Is it crazy to say that through what appears to be my misery, I’m the happiest I have ever been?

This is a bit odd for me to grasp. So many less desirable things are now part of my life yet I am filled with appreciation, joy, and excitement. After pondering on this fact, it dawns on me that purpose is what has given me this outlook.

Purpose has the power to drive you and bring out the best in you.

Purpose makes you hopeful, causes you to find solutions, makes you think about life in a way you have not previously.

When we are trying to succeed at anything in life there has to be something that pulls us to do the hard, messy, disgusting, disturbing, and exhausting things. We must look past what is unfolding in the present and see the future is brighter, greater, and near. Purpose has the power to change our mentality and once that is done, there is nothing that can hold us back from our desires.

As a new mom I had no idea how a child would impact my life. I thought that I could have my same life and I would maneuver him where need be. Silly me. Since the day he stepped foot out my uterus, my purpose has strengthened, expanded, and transformed. When you find your purpose, an authentic reason for doing what you need to do in this life, challenges will be seen as opportunities, setbacks will turn into stepping stools, changes will bring a sense of sweet novelty to your mundane routine. People can swear their circumstances are what holds them back. The truth is, a poor attitude keeps you defeated, stagnant, and in despair. Changing the way you view your circumstances allows you to persevere until you reach the other side because a brighter day is due to come – it always does.

Don’t allow the aches and pains of growth to defeat you. Understand the purpose and power behind the pain. Understand this transformation will catapult you to a better tomorrow. Know that this mentality will only set you free.

Feel free,

Mel