How I Let Reaching a Goal Take Over My Life

When I had my son IV, I decided I would breastfeed him until he was old enough to drink regular milk. I figured it would be 4 months..6 months tops. On our first visit to the pediatrician, to my surprise it was much longer than that. Children aren't allowed to drink cow's milk until their first birthday.  I was floored, but I was also committed. I was committed to providing IV with all the nutrients he needs to have the best health possible, and breastfeeding would accomplish that.
My Purpose: A healthy baby.
My Goal: Breastfeed my baby for his first year of life.

USE ALL YOUR RESOURCES TO REACH YOUR GOAL

At 3 months I was doing great. At 6 Months I was struggling with my supply. Between 6 and 9 months I tried all the tips to increase my milk supply: fernugreek, blessed thistle, multiple lactation teas, ginger, oatmeal, eating more, drinking more, basil oil, power pumping. I did it all. But as soon as my supply would increase, it would decrease with one missed pump. It was so finicky. It drove me nuts.

I was slowly losing my mind but didn't want to admit it.

Sometimes you need more than what's in your backpocket to reach your goal. Take advantage of all that's available to you.

WHEN YOUR GOAL STARTS TO FEEL OUT OF REACH

At 9 months I knew that making it to 12 months would be a miracle. With the stress of work, the busyness of the holidays, preparing for my business, I started to lose it.  

I was pumping my life away.

I would be late going places because I needed to stop home first to pump. I was getting little to no sleep because no matter how late it was, the last thing I needed to do before bed was pump, and the first thing I had to do before work was pump. I was drained and it showed. I knew that if something didn't give soon I was going to lose it.

The circumstances of life can get in the way towards reaching your goal. No matter how much effort you put towards something, sometimes it doesn't pan out the way you hope. Don't be afraid to adjust your goal, seek new paths.

WHEN YOU LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR PURPOSE 

Reluctantly, I started looking up organic formulas and found one I really liked but couldn't bring myself to order it. I told friends and family about it as if I was waiting for them to ask why or maybe I needed convincing. Surprisingly, everyone understood even without the drawn out explanation. Even IV's father's response was simply, "Okay." No one was making a big deal about it other than me. Why?

One word: failure. I felt like a complete failure for not making it to 12 months.

I completely disregarded the fact that he's been having breast milk for the past 10 months and he's now as round as a rollypolly. I disregarded the factthat in order for me to be the best mom that I can be, I needed to be well rested, full of energy, stress-free and pumping was hindering that. I ignored that fact that I went through not one but two breast pumps. The second one broke on me and it now takes me double the time to pump, because I can only pump one breast at a time. I disregarded the fact I was doing the best I could.

You are the only one who truly knows if you've done your best, and usually when you have, those around you can tell. When we are committed to something we often feel that if we change courses or our minds, we have done something wrong in some way. When the truth is, life is forever changing. It's important to change along with it in order to enjoy it as much as you can. There's nothing wrong with making adjustments. You can only fight the tide for so long until it consumes you. Lettinggo of pride and stubborness is part of this process. Give yourself permission to allow your needs and wants to change.

“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.”

— Michael McGriffy, M.D.

BE FLEXIBLE IN ORDER TO REACH YOUR GOAL

All that mattered to me was my child being fully breastfed for the first year of life. That's it, nothing more nothing less. And when the road got tough, I was willing to sacrafice any and everything-- even my mental health in order to reach my goal. At this point, the goal was greater than the purpose.

When you have a goal it is imperative to completey understand your purpose. Your purpose will not only motivate you when times get hard, it will inform you of when you've reached your goal. The moment your purpose is forgotten, your ambission is now in the driver seat. And your ambission doesn't care about friends, family, health, or having a good time. All it cares about is getting to the goal by any means necessary. I forgot my purpose was to have a healthy baby, because I was so fixated on breastfeeding for 12 months. Not only is my child healthy, the formula I chose would also provide him the nurishment he needs to thrive. I allowed my purpose to take a backseat, while my ambission drove me crazy.

Don't allow your dreams and goals to hold you hostage. The further you go down a path the clearer you become about what it is you need. Things will come up that you had no way of knowing before. Be patient with yourself, you may be surprised that the new goal in mind was greater than the first.

Feel Free,
Mel

**Did you enjoy this post? Did you learn something? If so, share, like or comment below. What goals have you allowed to take over your life? **

When Something Happens You're Not Ready For

IV makes it very clear that he's a big boy and no longer needs me like that lol

The other day something happened that I was not ready for. I couldn’t plan for it. There was no way I could've prepared for what I was about to experience. I’ve been breastfeeding my son now for 7 months. At this point I pump majority of the time and nurse at least once per day. One night I went to nurse IV before bed like I usually do, and he denied me.

When I say he denied me, I mean he completely refused my nipple.

I knew he was hungry, but it was clear he didn’t want milk from that source. To entice him, I even squeezed out a little milk on his mouth, but he wasn’t having it. He wanted the bottle, and there was nothing I could do to sway his mind. So I gave in. I made him a bottle, and he gladly grabbed it from me. A few minutes later, he laid in my arms completely full and sound asleep.

I sat there confused, not really knowing what to do next. IV’s new found declaration had caught me off guard. See, we have a system. I change him, nurse him, then rock him to sleep. He was messing that system up. I enjoyed nursing my booger before bed. Not only was it bonding time for us, it was also one less pumping session for me. But in a blink of an eye, he was on to something new. Our system had changed and I had to adapt.

This moment reminded me of how change is inevitable and it will hit you whether you’re ready or not. You can resist it try to holding onto the same routine, the same situation, the same mundaneness or you can acknowledge the change, shift gears, readjust, and evolve.

Related Post:The 1 Reminder Every Mom Needs

When it comes to building a business or building a brand, situations will happen that can throw you off your game. You could lose (or even better)break your jump drive with all your material on it, a fight with your boyfriend can turn your mood upside down and hinder your motivation to work, you can plan to be a feature for an event but find out last minute you are now the headliner. (These are just examples. None of these things have ever happened to me -__-). All these things can be frustrating because now you must disregard how you feel and do what you need to do. Because your business, your brand, does not care about your feelings, how thrown off you are or unprepared you are . Your creativity, your vision, your dream is selfish and just wants to be shared by any means necessary.

You must dry those tears, muster up some courage and put your big girl pants on, because entrepreneurship is not for the weak. It is not for the easily flustered. It is not for the ones who can’t take a hit. Entrepreneurship is for those who can stand tall when they’re scared. It’s for those who can laugh when they’re mad. It’s for those who can see a roadblock and find another way.

When change happens it is easy to wallow about how unfair it is and how it’s messing up your plans and ultimately ruining your life. It’s so easy to choose defeat. But once you choose defeat, your choice for success is out the window. You have now chosen a new path and that path keeps you exactly where you are.

Related Posts: Practice Patience but Never Stop Doing

If you have chosen entrepreneurship as your career path that means you have made a decision to find your version of success. What you will come to find out is this question will be asked of you time and time again:

Are you sure you want to do this?

Every time things don’t go as planned, every time you’re caught off guard, every time something happens you’re not ready for, you will have to decide, “Are you in or are you out?”

Time and time again you’ll say yes, grudgingly maybe, but your heart will say yes.

There’s no denying what the heart wants.

To all my entrepreneurs who are building a brand, building a business, building a lifestyle, I encourage you to embrace unexpected circumstances. Refuse the urge to fight it, pity yourself, or wait for things to go back to how they were. Because this is the path you’ve chosen, and it didn’t promise you routine, predictability or perfection. It can only ensure growth, novelty, and adventure.  Luckily we need all those things.

Feel Free,

Mel

Do Something You've Never Done

Top Gulf Atlanta

I’ve always thought of myself as a daring person. Ask me to try it and I will. Ask me to do it and I’m down. I believe that when it comes to most things, you should try it at least once. ‘If it’s not going to kill me, then why not’ is my motto. My curiosity peaks when something is presented to me that I have yet to experience. Unitl I realized everything is damn near new as an entrepreneur.

At the beginning of your entrepreneurial journey, there is one rule you must stick by no matter what (if you ever plan on being successful that is):

Say Yes To EV-ER-Y-THING.

And I mean everything, especially the things you’re not ready for. And you know that you’re not ready for it because you’ve never done it, but you have all the intentions of doing it in the future. The only way to become great in the future (because we're all striving fro greatness) is to start practicing in the present. You won’t be perfect. You may not even be good, but that’s okay. After you do something you’ve never done, you’ll be better the next time around. You will know how to prepare. You will understand your weak points. You will be clear on the outcome you want.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING YOU’VE NEVER DONE

When you do something you’ve never done it isn’t easy. Most of the necessary things in life aren’t. Even though there will be a lot of doubt and hesitation, you must do it anyway. Because it’s in the challenge that makes you better.

I recently hosted a call for the first time. I figured it would be like public speaking. I’ve spoken in front of crowds numerous times. I was a speech major for goodness sakes. Talking to 20 or so people that I can’t see from the comfort of my couch should be a piece of cake. Don’t you know, two days before the call I started thinking about ways not to do the call. Although, I knew without a shadow of a doubt I would do the call, the part of me that wants to grow professionally, that’s aspiring to be something more, that knows this is only the beginning of greater things to come, would not let me back out. But the part of me that was nervous, that wants to stay small because I’m good at small, the part that feels like an amateur, did not want to do the call.

The day of the call came. I let my fear take the back seat, and I spoke for nearly two hours on organization. Did I stumble, yes. Did I lose my train of thought, a few times. But I also received a lot of great feedback, and I truly had a good time. I learned that I would absolutely do it again.

Doing something you’ve never done before will bring out the parts of you that you are aiming to be. But don’t think for a second that the fearful version of you won’t make it’s debut. Know that she is always coming for the ride, because she is trying to protect you from shame, embarrassment, defeat, and failure. She doesn’t know this, but she is also protecting you from happiness, fulfillment, purpose, and adventure. Acknowledge her but never allow her to make decisions when it comes to pursuing your goals. Her defense is strong, and she’ll win every time if you don't kick your offence up a notch.

When It Comes to Doing Something You’ve Never Done Before I learned this:

1. Do It the Way You Would with Your Best friend- With good friends your personality shines the greatest. You’re at ease and full of confidence.
2. Always Put Your Best Foot Forward- Prepare as if you were at the top of your career and getting paid top dollar for it. Get in the habit of putting in the work to perform your best. Your best is your personal best. Only compare yourself to you and self.
3. If You Mess Up Just Keep Going-It’s all about how you finish, people barely remember the beginning and can never recall the middle. Always finish strong.
4. It’s Only a Big Deal at That Very Moment- Once it’s over it’s now a thing of the past. Meaning, you’re on your way to the next new thing.
5. If you’re scared, DO IT ANYWAY- PERIOD

~~WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NEW LATELY?? COMMENT BELOW ~~

Feel Free,

Mel