Get Family & Friends on Board with Your Life Changes

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself

When you're in the midst of making a change in life-- whether it's trying to improve yourself, build a business, or create a lifestyle that's not surrounded by dysfunction, there will be people that will try to distract you from your goal. Mind you, they are not doing it intentionally.  You're the one that's making the change. You're the one that's disrupting the flow by altering the dynamics of the relationship.

Your strive for change can cause tension and confusion with the ones you love. Making a change in your life is hard enough, there's no need to make it more difficult by crumbling close relationships.

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If you're on the path to making a change in life and want those around you to be on board, here are a few things to keep in mind:

LEARN TO COMMUNICATE

If you're taking a break from alcohol but your friend is insisting you have a drink, don't get upset. Don't get defensive and insult her for not being able to have a good time without being intoxicated, all because you've decided to make that change in your life. Respect her views and let her know why you refuse to drink right now. Sometimes we want to keep positive changes a secret, because we fear we may not be able to succeed. If you don't tell anyone, and you fail, no one will ever know. Sharing your desire for change actually does the opposite. It holds you more accountable, and if you're sharing it with a loved one, they'll cheer you on.

BE PATIENT

You will have to remind others around you of what you're trying to do. Yes, it will get annoying. You think to yourself, 

'I know we've had this conversation already yet they act brand new every single time'.

Put those manners your parents raised you on to work. Be polite and repeat yourself. It's not a crime to repeat yourself. I repeat, it is not a crime to repeat yourself.

BE CONSIDERATE

Your friends and family love you so very much and want to share their time and experiences with you. The time you're spending on changing is probably taking away from that. Put yourself in their shoes. Find ways to keep the peace without sacrificing your needs. This has been a great challenge for me as I designate time each day to work on my business. My boyfriend wants to watch a movie. Which sounds harmless, but he wants to do it with no phones, no iPads, and no laptops. (Basically no distractions) This can be pure torture when all I'm thinking about is the amount of work I can get done in this hour and a half. So we agree that I put a time stamp on what I need to do, and when times up, business gets put away and quality time begins. The beautiful thing about this arrangement is during the designated work period, I'm working with intention, motivation, and fluidity that produces a great outcome. When my time is up, I can relax and spend time doing other things that are equally important to my business(i.e simply watching a movie and eating ice cream with my boobie)

It's easy to get frustrated by the person who is impeding on your growth. How dare they not see what you're doing with your life. How dare they intrude with their wants and desires. How dare they want to spend time with you. (Humans are so self-involved lol)

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Here's the thing, your growth is no one's responsibility but yours. If you want to grow, change, and become something more than what you are today, it is your responsibility to make that happen. It is also your responsibility to remind others of what you're doing and where you're going. It is also your duty to never forget how your life affects those that you love. It is easy to be selfish and only focus on your goals, needs, and desires. But if all you do is care about you, whenever you get to wherever you're going, you'll be standing there alone. Maybe physically or so far removed emotionally that even in a crowded room you are lonely.

Strive for harmony, a sweet rhythm that involves the notes in your life that are vital. It is not created by your sound alone but of the ones who are willingly playing around you.

Feel free, Mel

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When Something Happens You're Not Ready For

IV makes it very clear that he's a big boy and no longer needs me like that lol

The other day something happened that I was not ready for. I couldn’t plan for it. There was no way I could've prepared for what I was about to experience. I’ve been breastfeeding my son now for 7 months. At this point I pump majority of the time and nurse at least once per day. One night I went to nurse IV before bed like I usually do, and he denied me.

When I say he denied me, I mean he completely refused my nipple.

I knew he was hungry, but it was clear he didn’t want milk from that source. To entice him, I even squeezed out a little milk on his mouth, but he wasn’t having it. He wanted the bottle, and there was nothing I could do to sway his mind. So I gave in. I made him a bottle, and he gladly grabbed it from me. A few minutes later, he laid in my arms completely full and sound asleep.

I sat there confused, not really knowing what to do next. IV’s new found declaration had caught me off guard. See, we have a system. I change him, nurse him, then rock him to sleep. He was messing that system up. I enjoyed nursing my booger before bed. Not only was it bonding time for us, it was also one less pumping session for me. But in a blink of an eye, he was on to something new. Our system had changed and I had to adapt.

This moment reminded me of how change is inevitable and it will hit you whether you’re ready or not. You can resist it try to holding onto the same routine, the same situation, the same mundaneness or you can acknowledge the change, shift gears, readjust, and evolve.

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When it comes to building a business or building a brand, situations will happen that can throw you off your game. You could lose (or even better)break your jump drive with all your material on it, a fight with your boyfriend can turn your mood upside down and hinder your motivation to work, you can plan to be a feature for an event but find out last minute you are now the headliner. (These are just examples. None of these things have ever happened to me -__-). All these things can be frustrating because now you must disregard how you feel and do what you need to do. Because your business, your brand, does not care about your feelings, how thrown off you are or unprepared you are . Your creativity, your vision, your dream is selfish and just wants to be shared by any means necessary.

You must dry those tears, muster up some courage and put your big girl pants on, because entrepreneurship is not for the weak. It is not for the easily flustered. It is not for the ones who can’t take a hit. Entrepreneurship is for those who can stand tall when they’re scared. It’s for those who can laugh when they’re mad. It’s for those who can see a roadblock and find another way.

When change happens it is easy to wallow about how unfair it is and how it’s messing up your plans and ultimately ruining your life. It’s so easy to choose defeat. But once you choose defeat, your choice for success is out the window. You have now chosen a new path and that path keeps you exactly where you are.

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If you have chosen entrepreneurship as your career path that means you have made a decision to find your version of success. What you will come to find out is this question will be asked of you time and time again:

Are you sure you want to do this?

Every time things don’t go as planned, every time you’re caught off guard, every time something happens you’re not ready for, you will have to decide, “Are you in or are you out?”

Time and time again you’ll say yes, grudgingly maybe, but your heart will say yes.

There’s no denying what the heart wants.

To all my entrepreneurs who are building a brand, building a business, building a lifestyle, I encourage you to embrace unexpected circumstances. Refuse the urge to fight it, pity yourself, or wait for things to go back to how they were. Because this is the path you’ve chosen, and it didn’t promise you routine, predictability or perfection. It can only ensure growth, novelty, and adventure.  Luckily we need all those things.

Feel Free,

Mel

Do Something You've Never Done

Top Gulf Atlanta

I’ve always thought of myself as a daring person. Ask me to try it and I will. Ask me to do it and I’m down. I believe that when it comes to most things, you should try it at least once. ‘If it’s not going to kill me, then why not’ is my motto. My curiosity peaks when something is presented to me that I have yet to experience. Unitl I realized everything is damn near new as an entrepreneur.

At the beginning of your entrepreneurial journey, there is one rule you must stick by no matter what (if you ever plan on being successful that is):

Say Yes To EV-ER-Y-THING.

And I mean everything, especially the things you’re not ready for. And you know that you’re not ready for it because you’ve never done it, but you have all the intentions of doing it in the future. The only way to become great in the future (because we're all striving fro greatness) is to start practicing in the present. You won’t be perfect. You may not even be good, but that’s okay. After you do something you’ve never done, you’ll be better the next time around. You will know how to prepare. You will understand your weak points. You will be clear on the outcome you want.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING YOU’VE NEVER DONE

When you do something you’ve never done it isn’t easy. Most of the necessary things in life aren’t. Even though there will be a lot of doubt and hesitation, you must do it anyway. Because it’s in the challenge that makes you better.

I recently hosted a call for the first time. I figured it would be like public speaking. I’ve spoken in front of crowds numerous times. I was a speech major for goodness sakes. Talking to 20 or so people that I can’t see from the comfort of my couch should be a piece of cake. Don’t you know, two days before the call I started thinking about ways not to do the call. Although, I knew without a shadow of a doubt I would do the call, the part of me that wants to grow professionally, that’s aspiring to be something more, that knows this is only the beginning of greater things to come, would not let me back out. But the part of me that was nervous, that wants to stay small because I’m good at small, the part that feels like an amateur, did not want to do the call.

The day of the call came. I let my fear take the back seat, and I spoke for nearly two hours on organization. Did I stumble, yes. Did I lose my train of thought, a few times. But I also received a lot of great feedback, and I truly had a good time. I learned that I would absolutely do it again.

Doing something you’ve never done before will bring out the parts of you that you are aiming to be. But don’t think for a second that the fearful version of you won’t make it’s debut. Know that she is always coming for the ride, because she is trying to protect you from shame, embarrassment, defeat, and failure. She doesn’t know this, but she is also protecting you from happiness, fulfillment, purpose, and adventure. Acknowledge her but never allow her to make decisions when it comes to pursuing your goals. Her defense is strong, and she’ll win every time if you don't kick your offence up a notch.

When It Comes to Doing Something You’ve Never Done Before I learned this:

1. Do It the Way You Would with Your Best friend- With good friends your personality shines the greatest. You’re at ease and full of confidence.
2. Always Put Your Best Foot Forward- Prepare as if you were at the top of your career and getting paid top dollar for it. Get in the habit of putting in the work to perform your best. Your best is your personal best. Only compare yourself to you and self.
3. If You Mess Up Just Keep Going-It’s all about how you finish, people barely remember the beginning and can never recall the middle. Always finish strong.
4. It’s Only a Big Deal at That Very Moment- Once it’s over it’s now a thing of the past. Meaning, you’re on your way to the next new thing.
5. If you’re scared, DO IT ANYWAY- PERIOD

~~WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NEW LATELY?? COMMENT BELOW ~~

Feel Free,

Mel